So you guys know about Tea Party Jesus, right? The concept is brilliant–put the words of batshit Tea Partiers into the mouth of Jesus Christ Himself (as envisioned by people who draw Jesus for those little cards that have Him looking beatific and then there’s, like, the 23rd Psalm on the back), and then you get to click on the image to find out who said what! It’s like a game! Except there’s no way to win, and the only prizes awarded are the tears you shed as you realize how truly fucking insane the people leading this growing movement really are.
It’s all very informative and the call-outs are epic, though Tea Partiers I’m sure will view these less as a series of call-outs and more spreading good wholesome American-flag waving values such as that there’s a difference between being rubbed and being raped by a priest or that, um, interracial marriage and school integration will make kids’ sexual imprinting mechanisms go all haywire. Anyways, my favorite one of late has been about the socialist implications of eating fruits and vegetables:
Now, of course, one has only to spend five minutes in the company of a Tea Partier to find out the socialist implications of goddamn near everything in the universe, but still. What? Here’s the news article and what this insane republican is ACTUALLY talking about (hint: there was never any “danger” of the CDC calling you up to tell you to eat your broccoli). Good times. By which of course I mean the worst of times.
Of course, all the vitriol the Tea Party uses to fire up indignant retirees on medicare is just that. Yet, as we all know, words have power. They have the power to influence people and their actions, and when we see Tea Party politics put into action, people suffer. Terribly. Such as, oh for example, privatizing social services, a truly stupid concept Tea Partiers uniformly agree is fucking awesome and the Right Direction for America. And yet. . . what happens when we privatize, saaaaaay, the fire department?
Firefighters Let Family’s House Burn Down Because Owner Didn’t Pay $75 Fee
Take that, moochers!