Paper Fruit

I’m sitting here in my house this lovely Thursday and it feels like my scalp is on fire. Why? Because I am currently stripping out the black and blue dye from my hair in order to see if I can get it a boring shade of dark brown. Boo hoo! This “Color Zap” nonsense is making my whole head tingle and burn, and I can look forward to this for the next hour or so. I’m really glad that the lady at Sally Beauty Supply told me this was going to happen because I would be seriously upset right now if she hadn’t. 

I’m wondering, after the wedding, if I’ll go back to bleaching my hair and making it fun colors, though, because while I really like negotiating my appearance I wonder about the ecological implications of bleach and if I’m being selfish for using it. Manic Panic is all vegetable dye and so huzzah for that, but my hair is very dark naturally and so in order to get interesting colors I have to get out the peroxide. Hm. 

In other news: I’m 2/3 of the way through good old Sense and Sensibility and I’m getting into fights in my class with other students regarding it. I really cannot stand Elinor and I’m pretty much alone in that opinion among those who speak in class. I can’t take the passive-aggressive nonsense with her, nor her (as I read it) jealousy of Marianne’s open temper and unwillingness to conform to the more ridiculous strictures of British society even to get a husband or preserve her honor. Yes, one could argue that Marianne is incredibly selfish, as her behavior has the potential to ruin Elinor’s matrimonial viability, but at the same time she is speaking truth to power in a compelling way, and I feel like through Marianne, Austen herself is questioning social mores.

Additionally, as this is my first complete read-through of Sense and Sensibility, my only impressions of Colonel Brandon have been from the Emma Thompson movie, where Alan Rickman gives him panache and a serious degree of not-sketchiness and dignity that the original character perhaps does not deserve. In the movie, Colonel Brandon to me always came across as sweet, serious, and kind, and infatuated with Marianne but willing to accept that she does not care for him. Colonel Brandon in the novel is a creepster without warning. He comes where he knows he is not wanted, and is in several places described as staring at Marianne. Though her rudeness to him is viewed by Elinor as inexcusable, I have to say, if when I was seventeen some weird old man about the same age as my mother showed up at my house and just looked at me all the time, I’d probably be less than thrilled by his attentions. Elinor, however, is obsessed with matrimony and therefore cannot see Marianne’s valid lack of regard for the Colonel, but I think the reader should not feel induced to agree with the eldest Miss Dashwood on this. 

who could argue with this hat? who would want to?

At any rate, my head is itching something fierce and I fear the black dye is proving stubborn. We’ll see if I’m just ruining my hair and will have to show up at the wedding all bald-headed Tank Girl style.

I’m going to take some time to work on Pharmakoi tonight and I’m pretty happy about that, though I wonder if my itchy-headedness will distract me too much from my edits. I am at a section that needs pretty heavy re-writing so we’ll see.

I will finish this night with a link to my friend Selena’s new website, which is very cool and well designed. This is a fairly amusing notice as I think Selena might be one of the only people who actually reads this blog, but in case someone stumbles across my blog who would be interested in the fiction and non-fiction writing of a very cool Poe-scholar, they would do well to check her out.

Tomorrow I’m back to it, Greek II and a class on Jane Austen as well as teaching. I’m a little nervous– I’m at the really exciting part of Pharmakoi and I know I won’t have lots of time to edit (if any) until the semester ends. Well, I should have at least a few weeks before it goes crazy but I know how much time I have to put into the Greeks to be OK in that class, so. . .

I love the book, though. I really do. Every time I get through a chapter I feel very happy about it. I edited down a slipshod crappy section today that I had just really stuck in as a placemarker in its original state and I think it’s pretty alright now. Every once in a while, though, I get kind of unhappy because I think I’m being really awful to my characters and putting them through too much. It really is in some ways a grueling book, so much bad happens. But I think it is beautiful too so perhaps that’s worth something in the end.

I just got in my electric lizard hair dye from Manic Panic, and I in the process of greening up by bangs! I’m a little nervous about it, I really liked my old turquoise color but I needed a change. 

Today I’m working on Pharmakoi and I’m really pleased about how well it’s going. I prefer editing to writing, and so being in the editing stage is an awesome, luxurious feeling. I think that by Monday I’ll be at least 2/3 of the way through it all, so cool! 

Actually, I’m not sure if it’s really 2/3 but the book is kind of in three sections at this point– the first part is a (fairly) linear narrative, keeping to one overarching storyline, though it does jump from the two main groups of people before they all meet. Then the second part crosscuts (for lack of a better term) among all the different groups after they split up. So what I consider to be the last third of the novel regains its linearity for the most part, although I suppose it does jump from group to group a little bit– but there are far fewer groups. I’m not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me.

At any rate, the project is really moving along, I have new hair, my right ear is up to 1g and I have hopes of tomorrow getting the left up to 1g, I just planted our first coconut tree in Animal Crossing: City Folk on Raechel’s Wii, so all is well. Later I’m going to see if I can find Harvest Moon for Gamecube (I know, I know, I’m behind the times something fierce) and then I’m going to attempt to veganize America’s Test Kitchen’s manicotti recipe.

I’ve been stretching my ears since last May and I’m almost at my goal size, but it’s been incredibly frustrating lately. I have preternaturally resistant ears and have had to use tape to stretch ever since reaching an 8g. Unfortunately, while trying to stretch from a 2g to a 0g, I somehow developed a sensitivity to the tape I was using. I took a month and a half off from stretching, did all the right things (vitamin E oil, massages, cleaning them, hot soaks, etc.) and yet, and yet, I am still no further along to a 0g than I was back in October when I hit 2g. 

The day before Christmas I decided to tape again only to be rewarded with hurty, unhappy ears that started bleeding for the first time since I started the process. Then this morning I woke up and there was pain and swelling, and when I took out my plugs I saw something that looked like pus, but given that it wasn’t green I’m hoping against hope that it was just vitamin E oil or something else. I downsized back to a 2g and just ordered 1g plugs to try to go up 1mm at a time, but I’m feeling very negative about the whole thing. I have several beautiful plugs just waiting for my ears to loosen up, including a pair of gorgeous, ridiculous, amazing, insanely large seraphim Raechel gave me for Christmas.

my god, the sheer size of them!

It’s just frustrating, I’ve been doing everything right, and this is what I’ve reaped. I know they’ll be fine and I’ll salt soak them and my 1g plugs will come but still. I just want them to feel better and be stretchy and nice like normal ears. They’re so resistant it’s insane. 

Tomorrow I’m heading down to West Palm Beach for an impromptu visit to John’s family, and I’m hoping to get plenty of reading done on the way down. I’m taking The Love Artist and The Secret History of Moscow, so we’ll see how much I get through. I also have to finalize my syllabus for the spring, though, so we’ll see how much I get through. I can’t believe vacation is almost over. I got a lot of work done editing my book but I was hoping to do more, perhaps I’ll have time upon my return to Tallahassee.

I hope my ears start to feel better soon. I am going to wait at least until my 1g plugs come in to do anything other than clean and/or mess with them but I’m tired of this. I know the 2g-0g stretch is supposed to be rough but not impossible! Sheesh.