Paper Fruit

Thanksgiving is always awesome here in Boulder. Between Raechel and Jesse/John and myself, we loaf around, watch movies, make too much food, and it’s always amazing. The menu this year, for example, is Tofurkey, stuffing, garlic mash & gravy, brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce (from the can, what), deep dish apple pie, and I think a pumpkin cheesecake. What.

I love Thanksgiving flavors too much to confine them just to the Big Day, though, and last week I wanted to do a Thanksgiving Warm-Up for dinner without spending too much money or time in the kitchen. The answer? Thanksgiving Cheatballs. Made with Gimmie Lean, veggies, and whole wheat breadcrumbs, each cheatball has over 8g of protein and is only 108 calories. And just look how delicious:

Pictured here with the Polenta Stuffing and the Silky Chickpea Gravy from Appetite for Reduction.

Here’s the recipe! Perfect for a weeknight where you want Thankgsiving in miniature, or as a main dish on T-day when you’re burned out on too much Tofurkey!

The end of October and the first weeks of November have been very busy what with turning 30, signing my first book deal, finishing up a major goddamn project that ate my life for a year (huz-fucking-zah), and whatever else has been occupying my time. Jesus Christ, it’s Thanksgiving next week! (Or, rather, “Thanksliving,” as Article 10, Section 2 of the Vegan Code mandates I call it: “Vegans shall be required to rename and/or feminize any and all foods associated with meat or meat-consumption, e.g. “Thanksliving” “shepherdess Pie” “cheatballs” “pepperfauxni”, etc.”)

But seriously, it’s been a good few weeks. My dad was just approved to be part of an experimental study for pancreatic cancer patients, which means he’s off of traditional chemotherapy and taking a combination of pills to combat the tumors. Also, he turned 64 today. (My mother says this answers the eternal question of “Will you still feed me/will you still need me/when I’m 64, because she is adorable.)

Additionally, I had a rockin’ Big 30 Birthday. My homeslice Brad and his ladyfriend Suzanne came to visit, and we went hiking, ate too much food, and had a big old Halloween party. Pics!

Here’s me at the Halloween Party as Han Solo. Who’s scruffy-looking?

Raech as a vampire hunter:

John and Jesse as 24 and 21 from The Venture Brothers:

Brad as one of the dudes from this awesome OK Go music video, and Suzanne as the girl with the dragon tattoo:

aaaaaand the punch I made that gave Jesse one of the most hilariously awful hangovers I’ve ever witnessed. Recipe here!

The next night, at the 30th Birthday Bash, me and John:

Jesse and Raech:

aaaaaand me getting all red-faced and teary-eyed upon being given the complete Jem and the Holograms DVD box set:

Woo! So yeah, good times. I’m excited for upcoming things too, like eating too much and going on a long hike next week, starting a new fitness regimen (with part of a birthday windfall I purchased a new program from Sandra, who guided me through her Virtual Boot Camp), and, I dunno, some other stuff.

Oh shit, I almost forgot! I got tattooed for my 30th b-day! Here’s a picture of the tattoo, and also part of my right boob:

Soon: a recipe for delicious Thanksgiving-flavored Cheatballs!

There’s a really neat interview with Ross Lockhart, the fine gentleman who edited The Book of Cthulhu, up on Omnivoracious! Go check it out.

These semi-confessional accounts of horror, terror, and the unknown inspired by Lovecraft are…. oddly inspirational and life-affirming. It’s not just that nothing really makes you appreciate Something like life more than being chased by some oozy Shadowy Nothing through a dark forest strewn with odd ruins. A deeper impulse seemed at work, too, in many, many of the stories. Why, there was even what appeared to be useful advice for the modern reader!

Could it be that the lessons taught by Lovecraft were less mechanistic and existential, less hideous and ritualistic, than I had thought? I had to get to the bottom of this strange phenomenon—by interviewing the editor…

Fun times! Thanks to Jeff VanderMeer, and to Ross, of course!.

I forgot when I promised more MoFo posting that MileHiCon was this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so my MoFoExtravaganza will be next week. So anyways, yes I will be at MileHiCon, hanging out, entering the costume contest, being on panels, and doing a reading. Here’s a brief rundown of what I’m doing (aka where I will definitely be; I’ll be “around” for the whole thing:

Friday at 3: I’ll be on the “Shifting POV” panel in Chasm Creek B

Friday at 4: Jesse’s doing a reading in Wind River B

Saturday at 3: I’m on the panel “The Future of the Short Story” in Mesa Verde A (so I need to go figure out the future of the short story—brb).

Sunday at 3: I’m on the panel “Suspension of Disbelief” in Mesa Verde A

Sunday at 4: I’ll be doing a reading from “The Infernal History of the Ivybridge Twins” in Mesa Verde C

Otherwise, I dunno. I am going to wear my costume Saturday night and maybe enter the contest, there’s some sort of Dark Wizard’s Ball, and also a Bat’leth tournament. I’d like to see wtf that is, for sure!

When it gets cool, and if, like today, I’m feeling a bit under the weather, this is my go-to recipe for instant comfort! It’ll get your stuffy nose running with lots of garlic, soothe your troubled tummy with some grated ginger, or warm you up with spicy siracha. Yum! Nourishing, simple, and delicious, this soup is good even if you’re not sniffly.

Udon Soup (Serves 2 hungry people or 3 with a side)

6 oz udon noodles, cooked according to package directions and rinsed with cool water (essential—do not forget!!)

8 cups water

4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed (I like to press them)

1 thumb-sized piece of ginger, grated

1 shallot, sliced thinly

2 cubes beef-flavor bouillon cubes

2 tbs siracha

2 tbs soy sauce

1 box vacuum-packed tofu, extra-firm, cubed

1 bag frozen spinach

cilantro

green onions

After preparing the noodles and rinsing them until they’re cool (all brands are different!), put 8 cups water, pressed garlic, grated ginger, shallot, bouillon cubes, siracha, soy sauce, and cubed tofu into the same pot and bring slowly to a boil. Once it’s hot, add the white parts of your chopped green onions and the frozen spinach, and let come to a boil again. Toss in the cilantro and most of the green parts of the chopped onions just before serving. (Reserve a few onions to sprinkle on top, for prettiness’ sake.)

To serve, put 1/3 of the noodles into a deep soup bowl, and ladle over the top the broth plus a bunch of the tofu cubes. Sprinkle with onions. You’re done! Eat with chopsticks and slurp the broth straight from the bowl. Also, serve with lots of extra siracha. It’s good for what ails you!

Perfectly Delicious Kabocha Squash

1/2 kabocha squash, peeled and cubed

1 tsp. Shichimi Togarashi

1/2 tsp. salt

Cooking spray

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Toss kabocha squash with spices and salt, dump on a baking sheet prepped with cooking spray. Spray the squash, too. Roast for 30 minutes, occasionally taking the squash out, stirring, and coating anew with cooking spray. Pieces will be all dark brown and crunchy on the outside, and perfectly melty-sweet on the inside, when done. Enjoy!

Today I’m headed to Florida to hang out with my family for a few days. Likely it will be too hot to enjoy a nice steamy pot of chili, but in Colorado and many other places it is certainly chili weather!

Recently, Mr. Nathan Crowder mentioned on his twitter feed that he was going to make a batch of pumpkin chili. What! I was immediately curious, and he was generous enough to share his recipe with me. It looked pretty veganizable, so I decided to try my hand, and oh my god oh my god this is my new go-to chili recipe. It’s also calorically reasonable for a large bowl of autumn goodness, coming in at a mere 251 calories per serving, with only 5.5 grams of fat. It also has 10 grams of fiber per serving, and 10 grams of protein. Nutritionally sound!

I elected to replace the ground turkey with Soyrizo, a vegan chorizo product available at most grocery stores these days, and definitely natural grocers. The rest was pretty 1:1, except I bulked up the flavoring elements. This is always a good idea when you veganize recipes: meat tends to add flavors to food, so with vegan stuff, you often have add in additional flavors for the same richness.

The original can be found here. Mine’s below!

Pumpkin Chili, Vegan Style! (serves 6)

Ingredients:

1 tsp olive oil

1 large chopped onion

1 large chopped red bell pepper

6 clove garlic

6 oz soyrizo (1/2 package)

1 (14.5 oz) cans peeled and diced fire roasted tomatoes w/green chilis

1 (15 oz) can pure pumpkin

1 (15 oz) can tomato sauce

1 (15.25 oz) can kidney beans, drained and rinsed

2 fresh green chiles (4 oz) or 1 4 oz can diced green chile

1 can whole kernel corn

Spice Blend:

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 teaspoon whole cumin

1 teaspoon whole coriander

1 teaspoon oregano

1 teaspoon thyme

1 bay leaf

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon cocoa powder

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

Directions:

Heat oil in a decently-large pot over medium-high heat. Add onion, peppers (chiles and red), and garlic. Sauté, stirring frequently, for 5-7 minutes or until tender. Add spice blend, sauté for a minute or until fragrant. Add soyrizo, cook until browned.

Add everything else on the ingredient list, plus (after dumping in the tomato sauce) fill the can ¾ of the way with water and add that, too. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Cover; cook, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes or longer. I did mine for about an hour as I got a wild hare to make cornbread and thus it cooked for a million years and tasted delicious!

The chili is pictured with a slice of the scallion cornbread from Appetite for Reduction!

Today is October 1st, which means it’s the first day of VeganMoFo: the Vegan Month of Food! Woo!

My “theme” this year will be Health & Happiness, so I figured a delicious, vegan, low-fat muffin recipe rich in Vitamin A and fiber would be a healthy, happy kick-off.

I know when I started doing low-fat baking it seemed intimidating, but it’s actually really easy. Part of the trick is knowing what can easily be made low-fat (or no-fat!) so you don’t get frustrated by failed first attempts. Yeasted breads are definitely delicious without added oil, and so are most quick breads, like muffins, scones, and things like banana or zucchini loaves.

You do have to account for the reduced liquid volume with low-fat baking, but the substitutes are many and easily available. My personal favorite is tried-and-true applesauce, it’s cheap, and if you get the unsweetened kind, it doesn’t add a lot of sugar. You can also use prune paste or mashed banana. I do a 1:1 ratio, most of the time, so if your recipe calls for half a cup of oil, use a half cup of applesauce.

It is good to keep in mind that with lower-fat baking, muffin- and scone-tops won’t usually get as crisp (though I have found adding in a few tablespoons of flax seed meal can help with that) and the shelf life of just about everything will be reduced. Muffins baked with applesauce will go hard much faster, but if you make room in the fridge for a tupperware, that’s easily dealt with.

As for the vegan aspect of low-fat baking, it’s pretty easy to “veganize” most simple baking (and not-so-simple baking, too!), but there’s also a wealth of recipes already on the internet. Vegans love to take traditional recipes and make them vegan so if you have a favorite muffin, make sure to check to see if anyone’s done your homework for you! For example, this recipe for Cranberry Orange Muffins was based off one from the Fanny Farmer cookbook.

This recipe I adapted from one by Isa Chandra Moskowitz, of Vegan with a Vengeance, Veganomicon, and Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World fame. The original can be found here.

The Best (Lower Fat!) Pumpkin Muffins

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground or freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
1 cup pureed pumpkin (Fresh or from a can; do not use  pumpkin pie mix)
1/2 cup non-dairy milk
1/2 cup applesauce
2 tbs flax meal
2 tablespoons molasses

Preheat oven to 400°F. Lightly grease a twelve-muffin tin.

Sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and spices. In a separate bowl, whisk together pumpkin, soy milk, applesauce, flaxseed, and molasses. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and mix until just combined.

Fill the muffin cups two-thirds full. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, until a toothpick or knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

They’re amazing! Whip up a batch and enjoy yourself on a chill fall morning.

Cheers!

1. I went camping last week. We hiked a little bit, and I read, ate snacks, sunbathed on rocks. The first night I cooked some stew over a campfire in my dutch oven, the second night we toasted tofu pups. I saw what I think was a long-tailed weasel (that’s not my photo, but I’m pretty sure that’s the kind of creature I saw), a mouse (who was trying to creep on our snacks), a bunny, and a bunch of birds. It was pretty awesome, except lots of the free campsites around Nederland have been trashed by careless assholes who leave toilet paper and broken glass everywhere. Pack it in, pack it out, folks!

2. The Book of Cthulhu is shipping! I received my contributor copies and it’s really beautiful, heavy, and filled with so much excellent Lovecraftian fiction! And my story.

3. I finally read Ender’s Game and came away with mixed feelings. I really liked the ending, which I should have predicted but didn’t, but getting to that ending wasn’t all I’d hoped. After reading a bunch of Card’s short stories I had high hopes for my first novel-length trip with him, but it just wasn’t my thing. Also some of the discussion of Jewry, which I think was also maybe supposed to be a comment on affirmative action, made me deeply uncomfortable. In terms of “awful stuff done to children” and “military SF” books I was more into Shade’s Children and Starship Troopers, but I have to give credit where credit is due. The ending of Ender’s Game got to me big time. Even if the pacing, the plotting, and all the female characters (all meaning, um, two) left me a bit cold.

3. I watched Drive Angry and The Expendables. I enjoyed Drive Angry, even though I thought it could have been a better film with just a few mild tweaks; The Expendables was a big pile of turds that disappointed me in every way. I just don’t know what to make of action movies these days. ::shakes cane:: Seriously, though, if your lady characters make me long for the liberated, progressive days of, say, The Running Man, you’re doing it wrong. The Expendables, as was pointed out to me, was less a movie and more “a patent attempt to capture the audience of middle aged men who wanted to reprise the films of their youth,” and “meant to be set on the mental mantlepiece and admired by those who are prone to gulled by it.” Fair enough, maybe, but I dunno. I’ve seen a lot of those aforementioned films, and many of them had scripts where the lady characters had better roles than that of “holy saint who drives a pickup truck” or “cheating slut.” On a different note, I’ve heard a lot of shitty action movie dialogue but never anything as bad as “I’ll have to have you over for dinner sometime … IN ABOUT A THOUSAND YEARS” or whatever it is that Arnold says to the bizarrely swollen-faced and blush-enhanced Stallone. Ugh.

4. I’m finishing up a short story and within sight of the finish line with my novel.

5. To console myself over being unable to attend WFC this year, I’m making an epic Halloween costume. So epic I already started on it so it will be done in time.

6. I will be attending MileHiCon, with more details to come as I receive them. Not sure if I’ll be involved with programming or not yet, but hopefully I will!

7. I’ve switched up my exercise routine lately, and now have started working on endurance, body strength, and addressing a few long-term issues with my body, such as my weak spine/lower back. The new routine includes a lot of different kinds of pull ups, push ups, squats, lunges, core work, and cardio. I’ve also started running a mile a few times a week, for the first time in my life. Running is still not my favorite, and I’m not sure if I’m actually getting better at it, but whatever! Maybe I am getting better, since today I ran a mile in 12 minutes 13 seconds, which isn’t the worst. Still. Ugh.

That’s … about it.

Dear folks involved with the Conan the Barbarian reboot,

Let me break it down for you because I guess it wasn’t obvious enough:

1. Here’s what ladyfriend and/or love interest should look like in a goddamn Conan movie:

Note the muscles and weapon; the costume that allows for freedom of movement and babealiciousness both. See the film itself for how she should behave. Cliffs Notes version: Doesn’t need to be saved all the time, cracks wise, commits awesome acts of brutal violence without squealing or looking appalled at herself. Also, she should be wise and cunning and her lines should be more substantial than “Eeeeek!” or “Conan!” in that save me because I am a girl tone of voice.

2. Regarding Sidekicks

Sidekick Pirate Man in the reboot does not look like he would be up to the task of, say, crying for Conan because Conan will not cry, being Conan. Actually, while we’re on that topic, New Conan totally looks like he’d shed a manly tear, which, whatever. Anyways. Subotai was awesome enough that he was actually of use to Conan in the original, where as new dude just has, I dunno, a boat.

3. On Villains 

What the hell is this:

While I admit we do a bit better with Zym’s daughter, Marique, neither are as interesting or compelling as Thulsa Doom. I’ll admit James Earl Jones is a hard act to follow, but come on! Khalar’s just a schoolyard bully with a creepy daughter. Marique would have done better on her own. . . but then those involved would have had to give a girl character a personality and lines and stuff, which seemed a bit hard for some reason I guess, here in 2011.

Anyways, Thulsa Doom could make an acolyte jump to her death with just a wave of his hands and a come-hither look. Just sayin’. It’s basic stuff that villains should be interesting. Frankly, they should be show-stoppers in S&S films! The key is that a good villain should be more than just the reason the Hero is doing stuff. Otherwise. . . yeah.

Anyways, due to the critical reception, I doubt we’ll get another Conan film anytime soon. But if it happens, I sincerely hope those involved will try a bit harder. The new Conan film was pretty awesome for its first 45 minutes, then took a nosedive and quickly went into freefall. All it takes is a good script with interesting characters, folks. Kid Conan was a good character, so was Corin, Conan’s dad. After that. . . good lord.

Sincerely,

Molly

***

Anyways! Moving on to another letter I needed to write:

Dear folks involved with the Fright Night reboot,

You’re all awesome, thanks for making a great film. I really appreciate all the work and time and effort and care you put into the remake. It was completely enjoyable and smart and gory and wonderful. Mad props! 

xoxo,

Molly

Not much to report here. Movie blogging will start next week because I had a whole bunch of unexpected things thrown my way, but for now, I’d just like to say… I love my Vibrams. I’ve worn my Classics for about two years now, to the gym, around town, etc., and they’re great. But at the beginning of summer I bought a pair of the TrekSports, for summer hiking when I didn’t feel like dragging out my giant heavy hiking boots. They’re really awesome, but until this week I never really put them to the test on a serious trail. Tuesday I tackled an eight mile hike, which took me up 1600 feet over 4 miles to a pristine alpine valley (forgot my camera, because of course I did). My little TrekSports got me there and back again, thus earning their spurs.

Other than that, life has had its ups and downs of late, but overall things are good. Oh, and as a matter of Serious Interest I’m updating my author photo to the one to the left. My dawgg Becky took it when she was out here visiting a few weeks ago, and I <3 it. The most interesting part of the photo, the background, is the mountain range along the continental divide drive you can do if you come visit me and we go out to Rocky Mountain National Park! So there you go.

Onward!