Paper Fruit

Fantasy Magazine has officially re-launched! Over on the site you can see the first issue of our new publication model, which kicks off with a Genevieve Valentine story, “The Sandal-Bride.” You can read about Genevieve’s inspiration for the piece in Jennifer Konieczny’s Author Spotlight, and learn about real-world adventurers in Graeme McMillan’s “Three Real Historical Figures who Embarked Upon the Hero’s Journey.” You can also read my interview with our cover artist, Scott Grimando!

Lots of work goes into making a magazine like Fantasy, and since we’ve added some people during the re-launch, I thought it would be fun to give folks the opportunity to meet the staff. Our “About” page will tell you the basics, but if you’d like to get to know who’s bringing you great short fiction every week, read on!

I know what I love about working for Fantasy (and, incidentally, for our sister magazine, Lightspeed): I get to read amazing, rich, creative genre fiction from an incredibly diverse group of writers on almost a daily basis. That’s pretty much what is best in life. But I wanted to ask the same question of everyone who works here, as well as a few other questions about their specific roles. . . so let’s let everybody else speak!

Sean Wallace, Publisher

What drew you to publishing fantasy fiction?

I’ve read a lot of fantasy since I was little, and it’s always been a dream of mine to publish it some day, something that I’ve always wanted to do since about middle-school. I even put together several stapled chapbooks around that time period, and then I graduated to helping out with high-school literary magazines. And then from there I went straight into genre publishing, as if it was natural.

What do you love most about Fantasy Magazine?

Knowing that other people are enjoying the same short fiction that I’ve picked, or that my editorial team has picked, is a real joy, and that’s what excites me the most about publishing Fantasy Magazine, that there’s a real broad selection of material to choose from, and that there’s something for everyone. (I hope!)

John Joseph Adams, Editor

What first made you want to be an editor?

As most editors probably do, I got interested in editing through an interest in writing. My interest in writing grew out of reading, of course, but also out of playing Dungeons & Dragons, and finding that running the game (i.e., “DMing”) didn’t quite satisfy my urge to create, largely because the damn players always ruined my elaborate plans by deciding to do things I didn’t anticipate. In any case, my interest in writing lead me to major in creative writing in college, and while there I naturally took a few fiction writing classes and fiction workshops. It was in those workshops that I discovered that I might like to be an editor—I seemed to take very naturally to working with the stories of others, and both my fellow students and my professors seemed to think that my commentary was valuable and on point, so I started to think that going into editing might be a viable career path for me.

Of course, back then I didn’t really know much about what an editor’s job would be like, and so when I got my first editorial job at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. But I loved the work right from the start, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that editing—and specifically short fiction editing—was a career I could see myself doing for the rest of my life.

What’s the first work of fantasy fiction you remember reading?

If you count anthropomorphic animals as fantasy, then my first work of fantasy would almost certainly have been one of the Ralph S. Mouse books by Beverly Cleary—probably The Mouse and the Motorcycle. And I guess that should count since, you know, mice can’t talk and generally don’t go around riding toy motorcycles. Otherwise, I remember reading A Wrinkle in Time at a very young age and being captivated by the animated film based on The Last Unicorn (which I guess is kind of cheating to mention since you asked about reading not viewing, but it feels like it should count since it was kind of a gateway to reading on account of it being based on a book).

What do you love most about fantasy fiction?

I love that in fantasy, you can take nothing for granted. Pretty much anything can happen in a fantasy story, which is something you can’t say about any other genre, really. Science fiction is capable of that kind of openness to some degree, but by definition sf stories have certain boundaries that restrict their scope, whereas fantasy can really go anywhere the author wants it to. Fantasy is like pure unfettered imagination at work.

What are you most excited about for the future of Fantasy Magazine?

Oh, just ALL OF IT. Having grown up first with fantasy, before discovering science fiction, and having worked as my first editorial job at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, fantasy has always been near and dear to my heart, but until now I never had the chance to play with fantasy fiction the way I get to play with science fiction at Lightspeed. I’ve done anthologies that included fantasy fiction of course, most notably by The Way of the Wizard anthology just last year, but there’s a certain freedom to editing a magazine with the broad title of Fantasy that leaves the editorial doors open to a wide range of possibilities.

Esther Inglis-Arkell, Nonfiction Editor

What are you looking forward to the most about editing nonfiction for Fantasy?

One of the wonderful things about working in nonfiction is the opportunity to get paid to go to school. It’s your job to think of new things to learn, to figure out how things work, to try to find out what’s coming next, and to generally follow your own curiosity. Most websites or magazines have themes that guide non-fiction pieces to certain specific areas. Fantasy, as a subject, frees the non-fiction writer as much as the fiction writer. The ideas that come from fantasy can be based in any time period, any nation, and any subject. They can be about exploration, music, art, science, politics, or they can look inward at the fantasy genre itself. As an editor, that gives me the freedom to pick any idea that I’d like to hear more about, give it to a talented writer, and have them give me back an informative essay catered exactly to my interest. It’s a luxury.

Stefan Rudnicki, Audio Editor

What are you looking forward to most about working with Fantasy Magazine?

It’s common knowledge among publishers that short stories don’t sell, and that they’re basically not good for much. That’s an attitude I’ve been fighting for years. Short fiction is where writers grow, where they get to try out new ideas and new voices and see if they’ll fly and sing. In no genre is this more true than in fantasy (and science fiction, naturally). And, of course, exactly the same thing applies to audiobook performers. (I like to think of us as more than mere narrators.) Short stories are an opportunity to don characters, attitudes and, yes, voices, so extreme that we might not be able to sustain them for a full book.

What I love most about the opportunity to work with both Fantasy Magazine and Lightspeed is the chance to match terrific writers with wonderful readers. Often the results are right out there on the edge of narrative style; sometimes epic, sometimes breathlessly creepy, sometimes astonishing in their simplicity. And it’s a chance for me, personally, as a performer, to encounter some of my favorite writers (as well as the new talent the Fantasy and Lightspeed editors are so good at discovering) in a kind of one on one joust where nobody loses, and the big winner is the listener.

Pablo Defendini, Art Director

What are you most excited about in terms of being the Art Director for Fantasy?

I’m excited about working with artists again—illustration was my first love—and I’m excited about exploring the possibilities of designing pleasurable reading experiences on the web—be it on the desktop, mobile devices, or ebook reading systems.

Jeremiah Tolbert, Webmaster

What do you enjoy most about working for Fantasy?

I like working on Fantasy because Sean is willing to consider any and all ideas to improve. The organization is small and nimble and can react quickly when it needs to change!

Wendy N. Wagner, Assistant Editor

What brought you to Fantasy?

Before this, I’d helped Mr. Adams as an editorial assistant on a couple of anthology projects. When he asked me if I was interested in helping at Fantasy, I HAD to say yes! I knew he would be working with truly amazing literature and that I would learn an incredible amount about the genre. It’s like an MFA I don’t have to pay for!

What is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

Getting to know all the staff is terrific! We have the best crew, and we’re working very tightly with our sister magazine, Lightspeed, which is staffed by some amazing folks.

But of all my duties, I’d have to say I love reading for reprints. It’s a great excuse to sit around reading amazing short stories whenever I want!

What do you love most about interviewing?

I always get very scared about interviewing people, so right up until I get their responses, I’m totally freaked out and panicky. But when I get the answers and I’m laying everything out for the article, it feels great, as if I’ve gotten to sneak away with this writer and have a private glimpse into their thoughts. It’s very exciting and empowering.

What about the Author Spotlight feature do you find most compelling? Why would you encourage people to read them?

I love getting extra insight into the world the writer’s created. The worldbuilding we see is usually just the tip of the iceberg, and it’s so fun to be able to get a peek at what we haven’t seen. It really makes the story’s time in our publication special.

T.J. McIntyre, Editorial Assistant

What brought you to Fantasy?

I have been a fan of the magazine for a long time. My friend, Rae Bryant, who used to be on the staff, asked if I wanted to help out by putting together a few interviews as a favor, and I was more than happy to help out. I’ve been having fun interviewing authors ever since.

What is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

We publish such a diverse pool of authors who come to their writing from some very unique life experiences. I sincerely relish having the opportunity to talk shop with such talented and interesting people.

What do you love most about interviewing?

I guess the opportunity to meet other authors. I’ve made some great friends and had some really interesting conversations that I’ve truly enjoyed. Besides, who doesn’t enjoy talking about stories? That’s what makes some literature classes and book clubs so popular, after all. And getting to talk to the authors themselves? It’s simply awesome fun for this book nerd.

What about the Author Spotlight feature do you find most compelling? Why would you encourage people to read them?

I really enjoy it when an author’s personality is revealed through their answers. Some of our authors are funny, others are cerebral, and it seems that all of them are kind. I also enjoy delving into world-building and into light literary theory from a genre fan’s perspective. I’d recommend them to gain insight into the stories behind the stories. I like to delve into an author’s process, their inspiration, and perspective. As a writer myself, I find these things fascinating.

Jennifer Konieczny, Editorial Assistant

What brought you to Fantasy?

I began reading Fantasy Magazine while I was on an extended research trip in January 2009. There was a finite number of books I could afford to carry with me, and I didn’t (and still don’t) own an e-reader. But I craved new speculative fiction, so my boyfriend recommended Fantasy, Strange Horizons, and Ideomancer. Their stories hit the spot exactly: well-written, quickly read, and easily accessible. Soon I wanted to know how I could be a part of producing quality work. When Cat Rambo posted that Fantasy was looking for slush readers in September 2009, I jumped at the chance.

What is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

There’s so much to do at the magazine. I love the opportunities that arise to try something new, but if I had to narrow it down I think interviewing—getting to hear how authors’ think about their works—is my favorite aspect.

What do you love most about interviewing?

After several years in drama club stage crew, I like to pay attention to the person behind the curtain. Interviewing an author gives me the chance to hear the voice behind the scenes, distinct from the story’s narrator or other characters. It’s fun to learn about which characters were most difficult to work with and what methods an author used to bring the story to life.

What about the Author Spotlight feature do you find most compelling? Why would you encourage people to read them?

The author-reader interaction, for me, is the most compelling part of the Author Spotlight features. Authors have invested so much into the work, and readers bring their own interpretations. I love to listen to the conversation that ensues when authors and readers start comparing notes. Q&As are always my favorite part of author readings, and the Author Spotlights capture that spirit. They’re like DVD commentary tracks. Authors get to lead us through the process: what they intended, what their favorite parts are, what they incorporated from their own lives. They can answer fans’ questions about the story, they can offer advice, and they can recommend other works. It’s wonderfully informative.

Raechel Dumas, Proofreader

What do you think is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

Definitely getting to read such a diverse array authors, many of whom I would never have become acquainted with otherwise. I’m one of those literature grad students who’s always complaining that she doesn’t have time to read. Working for FM forces me to step away from my translation work, thesis, or whatever else I’m doing for school, and spend some time with new (to me) writers.

Our awesome slush team is, well, awesome! We’re lucky to have Lisa Andrews, Jenny Barber, Mark Bukovec, Paolo Chikiamco, Bob Cooper, Michael Curry, Jennifer Konieczny, Nick Matthews, Suzanne Myers, Wendy N. Wagner, and LaShawn Wanak all slushing for us; when I asked them about what they loved about working for Fantasy and what’s fun about slushing, here’s what they had to say:

Jenny Barber: I love finding that one shining story that absolutely has to be published, then seeing it published. I came to Fantasy as part of my eternal search for fabulous online fiction to appease my poor junkie soul.

Mark Bukovec: I enjoy watching writers get better over time. It’s satisfying when we buy a story from a writer who previously submitted a story that was close-but-not-quite. When your rejection says we’d like to see another story sometime soon, we mean it! I write, too, and reading slush serves as a reality check. You can’t take rejection personally–we get hundreds of stories a month. Submitting stories is like boxing–you gotta keep throwing punches. If you dwell on failure, you’ll get smacked in the face. Keep moving and punching!

Paolo Chikiamco: While some slush stories have already been through multiple rewrites or passed through a workshop, I always feel that there’s something more raw about an unpublished story, and whether that story is good or bad, by the time I’ve taken a position on the story I’ve already learned something new about what works for me and what doesn’t. Reading slush also makes me feel more connected with the general community of writers. It’s no secret that writing is a solitary task, especially for someone like me who doesn’t have access to a writing group, so just being able to see other authors (published and unpublished alike) engaged in the writing-submitting process makes me feel like a part of something greater than myself. I may never meet these people in person, but they’re struggling with the same things I am, and being constantly exposed to people who have the dedication to finish a story and the courage to submit that story, well, it’s an inspiration.

Michael Curry: My favorite aspect of working for Fantasy is likely the almost inexhaustible supply of great stories. There’s also the chance to contribute to the spec fic short fiction community that’s brought me so much pleasure over the years. I always enjoy the chance to read a variety of work from both some my current favorite short fiction writers and from talented new writers who may become favorites.

Nick Matthews: Slushing is a great way to read new fiction. I get a deeper understanding of the mechanics of story writing, as I get to see what makes a story idea work. I’ve focused some of my academic studies on science fiction, I get the chance to read fantasy without a theoretical lens, but rather the critical lens of story mechanics.

Suzanne Myers: I love reading stories, and this gives me an opportunity to read a LOT of amazing stories. It’s also an inspiring and educational experience. As an aspiring writer myself,  it’s an incredible opportunity to see a side of the business that new writers are rarely exposed to. I have the opportunity to learn what kind of stories sell, based on the editors’ tastes, the magazine structure, and the quality of the story itself. For many, writing is a very personal process, and I think it’s very important to understand how it’s handled from the business side. I think a term of “slushing” should be a requirement for every author!

LaShawn Wanak: For me, slushing is an crash course in learning what make a story works and what doesn’t. If it doesn’t pull me in, it won’t pull in our readers either.  It also forces me to think why the story bored more, or conversely, why I loved it. And I can apply those principles to my own writing to make it stronger. I also love finding out a story I really liked from the slushpile made it to being published on the site! It fills me with gooey happy pride.

Melissa Gross: Reading the many interpretations of “fantasy” is fascinating. Short stories lend themselves so well to experimentation, to pushing and re-drawing the boundaries of storytelling. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but that hardly matters. The process in action is a thrill. When I came across an online call for slush readers I applied before I could talk myself out of it. The chance to read others’ work and learn to evaluate writing (and hopefully strengthen my own writing in the process) was so strong I couldn’t resist.

I (me, Molly) also thought it would be interesting to query the slushers on what they’d love to see more of! Here are some of their general thoughts:

• I enjoy character-driven stories which are framed by a familiar myth, as in a myth retold. I like to see attention given to the mechanics of good writing, with a good, quick hook that develops into the story. I want to read a story which plays with nuanced characters, in which true character development occurs.

• More comic fantasy, that’s always good!

• I would love to see more stories set in non-Western locations (particularly those set in various versions of Africa), and stories that veer hard away from what some might define as standard fantasy tropes.

• Adventure stories that can manage well done action with riveting story and extra bonus deep emotional notes.

• I love wordplay. Stories with strong plots are great, but when they’re paired with poetic imagery and lyrical prose, those submissions have me tearing at my hair yelling, “How did they do that? HOW DID THEY DO THAT?!” Well, actually, no, I don’t tear my hair, but that’s the gist of it.

• Stories that show historical or mythological characters from a different angle.

• Anything with really strong worldbuilding. I’m a total sucker for exciting new vistas, especially if they contain cool creatures.

• Anything with a dynamic female protagonist!

• The best stories keep me wondering what’s going to happen next. It’s all about skilled writing!

• I love to see all the different ways writers integrate magic into a scientific-based world view, playing with mythology and mythological creatures, bringing them into modern times, and making them interact with technology.

Well, that’s about all! I sincerely hope you’ll take the time to see what’s new and what’s familiar about Fantasy—I have a feeling you’ll like it!

It’s been waaaay too long since I’ve blogged. Holy crap. I need get in here more often and post stuff like I always vow I will (seriously, I’m going to write about Victorian pornography any day now), so my blogs aren’t all just “hey look at this stuff I did.” But I’ve left it too long, so whatevs. Here’s some stuff I did:

My very last Fantasy Magazine-hosted Films of High Adventure went up this morning! Sniff! Jesse and I decided to do Beetle Juice, because we both loved that film (still love it!), and we wanted to go out with a triumphant, fist-jabbing YES! Thanks for all the support, folks–we’ll get back into doing the column on our blogs once we both conquer a few deadlines.

The Crossed Genres Quarterly #1 is now available! It contains stories by Ken Liu, Christie Yant, Therese Arkenberg and myself, among others. I’m thrilled my work appears in such hallowed company. Yay!

I’ve had some recent good news, as well, in the form of hearing that I’ll have a few nonfiction pieces appearing soon around the interwebs. For Fantasy, I had the privilege to interview Edward Packard and Ellen Kushner about their experiences writing the Choose Your Own Adventure series, and talked to a lot of my friends about how much they enjoyed reading those books as a kid (as did I!). I’ll post a note when that goes up in April—I’m really happy about it, and many thanks to everyone who helped that piece along.

For Strange Horizons, I interviewed Jonathan L. Howard, and that will be going up in April, too. Howard is one of those authors who is just genuinely nice, pleasant to work with, and interesting. It was such fun to speak with him about things like role playing, horror cinema, and what the new Cabal novel will be about. Serious yay! In other  Cabal-related news, “The House of Gears,” a Cabal short, will be appearing in Fantasy in April, and since I was already interviewing him for SH, I conducted his Author Spotlight. Whew!

I think that’s about it! I’m mostly excited about the Fantasy relaunch, though–it’s going to be beautiful and chock-full of amazing fiction. While you wait for that, however, you should check out Fantasy‘s February issue. It’s been one of our most amazing months, with fiction by An Owomoyela, a co-authored Gio Clairval/Jeff VanderMeer piece, and a delicious bit of weirdness from Tamsyn Muir. Next Monday we’re publishing an outstanding story by Megan Arkenberg, so make sure to mark your calendars to save some time for “The Celebrated Carousel of the Margravine of Blois” because woahmifreakingod. It’s the jam.

cross-posted to my LJ

This month’s Films of High Adventure is up. Have you ever heard of the cinematic masterpiece Yor: The Hunter From the Future? Well, neither had I until Jesse made me watch it a few years ago, and then we re-watched it for the purposes of journalism. Enjoy!

Nick Mamatas is a smart dude, and he has written a book called Starve Better. From the Apex page: “Starve Better is a no-nonsense survival guide by a professional writer who knows how to use small press publications and writing for everyone from corporate clients to friends and neighbors to keep himself out of the soup kitchen line.” Good stuff, and needed—I’ll be picking up a copy! You can read the thoughtful introduction here.

Last night I made some awesome food, and I wanted to share the recipe! It’s Ethiopian-inspired, and was totally rad. It tastes really rich, but this is a low-fat, high-nutrient meal. You could definitely hit up your local Ethiopian place to get some injera to scoop, but I was too lazy for that last night, and this meal is perfectly good without! Also, this is good for busy people because it’s a crock pot dish, and the only active cooking when you get home is cubing the sweet potatoes and roasting them for half an hour. Plus, your house will smell insanely delicious when you come home in the evenings. WIN!

Ethiopian Yellow Split Pea Stew with Roasted Sweet Potatoes (serves 4 hungry people)

Put the following in a crock pot (except spinach), stir well, and let cook on low all day:

• 1 c. yellow split peas
• 2 carrots, peeled and chopped
• 2 shallots, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, chopped
• 3 roma tomatoes, seeded and chopped
• 1/2 tsp berebere
• 1/4 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/8 tsp. fenugreek
• 1/8 tsp. black cumin
• 1 “chicken” bullion cube
• 2 cups water
• 8 oz fresh baby spinach

45 minutes before you want to eat, prepare the sweet potatoes:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Peel 3 lbs sweet potatoes (I used garnet yams), then cube into 3/4 inch cubes and throw in a bowl. Toss sweet potatoes with the following:

• 1 1/2 tbs. olive oil
• 1 tbs. agave nectar
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 3/4 tsp. berebere

Roast for 35 minutes, tossing after 15. They will get all caramel-y and delicious. When the taters have about 8 minutes left to roast, dump the spinach into the crock pot and stir in. Let cook until it is wilted and tender.

To serve, put sweet potatoes in the bottom of a shallow bowl, and ladle the lentils and spinach over top. Eat like crazy!

x-posted to my LJ

Jesse’s latest, The Enterprise of Death, is available for reviewers to check out! You can get an ebook arc here, or you can enter his contest to try to win one of three bound galleys! It’s a really fucking good book, and I’m not just saying that because my cat is a (minor) character.

Jeff VanderMeer’s short story collection, The Third Bear, was recently featured over at Largehearted Boy, for their Book Notes series. If you’re interested in such things as authors discussing how music and words interact and (potentially) enhance one another, you should check it out! It’s interesting stuff. There’s also  a free PDF of “The Quickening,” which was the only new story in the collection! Fun times–and if you like the story, consider buying the anthology. All royalties will go to funding the translation aspect of VanderMeer’s forthcoming Leviathan 5 anthology, which seems like an amazing, worthy undertaking.

The Innsmouth crew is doing a lot of cool stuff recently! They just posted the cover for their Historical Lovecraft anthology, which I have every confidence will be completely awesome (and it features an absolutely filthy novelette by yours truly). Currently they’re accepting submissions for their Candle in the Attic Window anthology, which will be Gothic fiction, and I hear they’re eager for shorter stuff, non-repulsive people, and mummies.

Also, I’ll be at World Horror this year, so that’s awesome! I’ve never been, and I’m looking forward to meeting new folks and seeing old friends. It should be a lot of fun! Thanks in advance to the con committee for all their hard work!

x-posted to my LJ

Some interesting things I’ve encountered of late:

I can’t vouch for this as I haven’t read it, but my dawgg Jesse hooked me up with a link to a book called The Vegan Revolution…With Zombies, and while the whole “something…with zombies” trend is not perhaps my favorite, this looks kind of awesome. Apparently, much of the action revolves around vegans holing up in Food Fight! grocery in Portland, an awesome store in its own right—and if you click and look at the cover of this book, you can see Sweet Pea (maybe the best baked goods on the planet), Herbivore Clothing Company, Food Fight! (of course), and Scapegoat Tattoo, where I got the little demon-dragon on my wrist that was up on Suvudu a while back. Seems awesome!

Next up: Lately I’ve been cooking out of Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s newest, Appetite for Reduction. I tested for the cookbook, and so I knew it was pretty rad before it came out—but holding it in my hands and having a bit more time for cooking lately, I’ve been exploring a few of the recipes I didn’t get a chance to test. So far, favorites (new and old) have been the Sushi Roll Edamame Salad, OMG Oven-Baked Onion Rings, the so-simple and so-delicious Five-Spice Delicata Squash, Curry Laksa, Bistro Broccoli Chowder, Red Lentil and Root Veggie Dal, Sweet Potato Drop Biscuits (which should also have an OMG in front of them). There are, however, two recipes that stand out to me: Edamame Pesto and the Veggie Potpie Stew. That stew—fuck, I’ll just come right out and admit that if I could feasibly eat pot pie every day of my life, I would, and that stew managed to exceed my ridiculously high standards. So, so good.* There are 125 recipes in the book, and most come in at under 400 calories per portion. I can’t recommend it enough. I’m actually up at the coffee shop writing this, with my copy next to me, as I brought it up to menu-plan for the week. I love all of Isa’s cookbooks, but this one has me enthralled.

…but if you feel like splurging a bit, she did just put up her recipe for Orange Cranberry Nut Muffins up on her blog, and I think they’re the greatest muffins I’ve ever eaten.

Well, not to make this all about Isa, but last Friday she talked about veganism on NPR! It’s an interesting listen; I always think it’s nice when actual conversations about diet and ethics occur; I think sometimes it’s really hard for people to talk about the politics and ethics behind consumption, the environmental impact of our choices, and all that goes along with such things—but the more we do it, the easier it will get! Bonus: they played my favorite vegan anthem of all, “Be Healthy” by Dead Prez. Woo!

Finally, I’ll conclude with an article that was in The Washington Post called “You’ve Come a Long Way, Vegan,” which is one of the best recent writeups on veganism I’ve seen. That it came out through a major media outlet makes me even happier. For me, the best part was finding out there’s a vegan guide for Afro-American women out there called By Any Greens Necessary, which has to be my favorite title of anything (after Veganomicon, of course, but that’s a given, no?).

Yay! Happy Monday, everybody!

___________

*I’m allergic to mushrooms, so I subbed seitan in my version. It turned out great! I know a few folks who aren’t so very fond of fungi, so I recommend the switch for them, and for people like me, who get the dreaded Mush Mouth.

x-posted to my livejournal

I’m sitting here eating Unfried Fried Rice from Appetite for Reduction, the low-fat cookbook I tested for last year, and it occurs to me that I should do one o’them end-of-year thingies I’ve been seeing all about the webz. It’s been a crazy year in general for me—as a writer, as an editor, as a daughter, and as a consumer of media, as well, so yeah. Some documentation seems in order:

As a writer:

2010 saw my first fiction sale ever, and then three others. In January I sold “In Sheep’s Clothing” to Running with the Pack, and the anthology—and my story in particular—got a bunch of really nice reviews and shout-outs. Then about midyear I heard “The Devil’s Bride” would be picked up by Palimpsest, and in October “The Infernal History of the Ivybridge Twins” was selected to be part of Innsmouth Free Press‘s forthcoming Historical Lovecraft anthology. Finally, Crossed Genres accepted “The Red Terror of Rose Hall” to be part of their subscriber’s content. I’m very proud of all of these!

As for non-fiction (or is it?!?!) my interview with zombie polka band The Widow’s Bane went up at Strange Horizons. That was a hoot, and I’m so pleased it found such a great home. Also this year, Jesse Bullington and I embarked on a quest to re-watch old movies from our childhood and blog about them. Right now “Films of High Adventure” is on hiatus due to both of us being busy (though our review of Dungeons & Dragons went up on Fantasy last week and I failed to make a note of it here—it was such fun), but throughout the year it’s been an interesting project to say the least. A hoot and a holler, yes indeed.

Since this is a rare writerly update from me, I’ll also talk about what’s up with my novel. Last year I typed THE END on the MS, edited it, and sent it on its merry way to an agent. That agent contacted me, and we talked on the phone about the book. While she didn’t wish to represent it at the time, she did say that if I wanted to rewrite portions of the MS, and do some other stuff with it, she’d be willing to give it a second looksee. All her suggestions made sense—total sense, actually—and so that’s where I’m at right now with my big project. It’s been difficult, but I’m starting to see a new book emerge that’s, I think, a better book, and so even if a revised manuscript is all that comes out of this, I sense it will be a net gain.

As an editor:

Last year I was already on board with Fantasy Magazine at the year’s dawn, but toward the end of the year, things started to get wild. It began with some changes for Fantasy: the editor and fiction editor announced they’d both be stepping down, and that John Joseph Adams would be taking over full editorship in March of 2011. In the wake of this, I was asked to take on managerial duties for John’s (now) two magazines—Lightspeed and Fantasy.

So far, this has been a total pleasure. Working with John is a lot of fun, and the Lightspeed team as a whole are awesome folks! I anticipate good things for Fantasy as 2011 progresses and we remodel a bit.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t note a few of my favorite short stories this year, so in no particular order, my highlights for Fantasy (and a few from Lightspeed after I started) are:

At Fantasy:

• “The City of Lobster, or, The Dancers on Anchorage St.” by Alex Dally MacFarlane
• “Above it All” by Carol Emshwiller
• “The Spontaneous Knotting of an Agitated String” by Lavie Tidhar
• “The Seal of Sulaymaan” by Tracy Canfield
• “Abandonware” by An Owomoyela
• “The Interior of Mister Bumblethorn’s Coat” by Willow Fagan
• “Over the end, and over again. . .” by Toiya Kristen Finley
• “The Gold Silkworm” by Toni Pi
• “Mortis Persona” by Barbara A. Barnett

And at Lightspeed:

• “Jenny’s Sick” by David Tallerman
• “In-Fall” by Ted Kosmatka
• “Faces in Revolving Souls” by Caitlin R. Kiernan

As a daughter:

In the early months of 2010 my family found out that my dad was battling pancreatic cancer. This came as a shock to us all, as my dad is one seriously healthy dude. We had no idea just how much time we would have with him, but 2011 opens with my dad being healthier than he was this time last year, according to the doctors (I mean, as far as I understand it). His tumors, as of his last scan, were not particularly bioactive, meaning the hard-core chemo he was on did some damage to the cancer. He is working out, walking at least 10k steps every day, and eating healthy. It seems like he is baffling his oncologist and various other doctors with how well he is doing, so that’s awesome. I’m hoping 2011 holds even more remarkable health improvements for him. Big thanks to all who sent happy thoughts his way, in the form of prayer, well-wishes, emails, or anything else!

As a reader/movie-watcher/listener/video game player:

2010’s movie watching was largely “Films of High Adventure”-related, but there were a few others that rocked out and deserve a note. This year I actually saw a few movies that came out in 2010: Kick-Ass, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, and, um. . . Splice, but since that movie caused my first-ever film walkout, I dunno if it counts. The others were good! I also watched Hero, which was awesome, A Town Called Panic, which I liked far more than I thought I would, Moon Warriors, Mr. Vampire 2 AKA Crazy Safari, and the two late-in-the-year standouts, The Draughtsman’s Contract and The Prestige. Good stuff. I’m certainly leaving out a few, but those are what I can recall off the top of my head.

As for books, I think my Best Book of 2010 (that, shockingly enough, came out in 2010) would absolutely be Johannes Cabal the Detective by Jonathan L. Howard. I also read the first in the series in 2010, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer, which was great—but I think Detective blows it out of the water. I actually participated in an inquisition of Herr Cabal around the time the book came out, which was a lot of fun, but the book stands on its own. It’s tremendous.

Also of note, I read Imaro by Charles Saunders in 2010, and that rocked my world, as did Elric of Melnibone and its sequel Sailor on the Seas of Fate. I also read Flora Segunda, which I loved, and a bunch of other stuff but I rearranged my books (read: put them on top of the bookshelf because I ran out of space) and now I can’t remember what I read this year. I’ll keep better notes in 2011.

I don’t ever listen to albums as they come out (I suck at keeping up with music) but omfg, Cee Lo Green’s The Ladykiller has been making doing the dishes actually fun.

And to round this out, as a gamer, motherfucking Cataclysm, nerds!

So that’s a year in review. I’m certainly neglecting things, like awesome new friendships made at World Fantasy and elsewhere, novels beta-read for my friends, things of note I’ll probably edit in later, and other stuff I’ve done/thought about/enjoyed/whatever (like, say, the fact that I actually typed THE END at the end of two manuscripts this year, but one will never-ever see the light of day), but I have to go to the bank to get quarters. It’s the first laundry day of 2011! Woo!

I sold a story to Crossed Genres! Many thanks to the editorial team over there. I’ll post about the inspiration for “The Red Terror of Rose Hall” when the publication gets closer, since it came out of some unusual places.

I recently watched a completely fantastic movie, The Draughtsman’s Contract. Wowza-bo-bowza and holy fucking shit. I really cannot recommend this film enough—doubly so for anyone who thought Dangerous Liaisons would have been so000 much better were it about English people being horrible to one another instead of the French. What? Is it news to anyone that I’m an unrepentant Anglophile? Anyways, it features fops, more fops, foppery, wigs, a soundtrack by Michael Nyman (the guy who did the soundtrack for Ravenous), more fops, and people being unrepentantly terrible to one another for dubious reasons. Also fops. If for some reason you need more convincing, here’s the first scene. Tell me that’s not wonderful.

Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s Appetite for Reduction is out! I tested for this cookbook thus may vouch for its awesomeness.

Thanksgiving came and went with food and relaxation and me learning to (at long last) play Magic: The Gathering. Wow, it’s fun! Also, I made really excellent pumpkin pie, and have put that recipe at the bottom of the post.

Things with Lightspeed and Fantasy have been going really well! There are some great stories coming out at both venues during December, so make sure to keep checking on Mondays and Tuesdays for delightfulness! Or, alternatively, why not buy the ebook version of Lightspeed and be the cool kid who’s read everything before everyone else?

As you may have noticed, Films of High Adventure is on hiatus. It’s temporary! But we’ll still have a December installment up at Fantasy.

OK. Time for noms!

Molly’s Vegan Pumpkin Pie

I wanted to take advantage of the pie pumpkins at the farmer’s market this year. I’ve never made pumpkin pie from scratch, and felt it was High Time. It ended up being something of an emotional roller coaster. It began with feeling smugly domestic as I put the pumpkin in the oven to roast, panicking when it didn’t taste particularly great, getting friends on the internet to calm me the hell down by reminding me that pumpkins are not delicatas and need sugar before tasting good (thanks, Erin, and everyone on the PPK!), risking ruining pie by making up my own recipe, and then feeling as triumphant as an objectivist setting her oil wells aflame as I bit into a perfect slice. Well, not quite perfect. It was a tad overbaked, but I think 5 minutes fewer in the oven would have produced The Perfect Pie.

There are as many vegan pumpkin pie recipes as there are vegans, and the unique challenges involving making the perfect pie are heatedly discussed every holiday season on vegan message boards. The main issue is that unlike say, a chocolate mousse pie, tofu in the batter can often give the finished pie a tofu-y taste, and while I’m pretty inured to tofu-taste, something about pumpkin pie really brings out the bean. And yet! Adding a different binder in the form of soaked cashews really makes the tofu invisible in this version, for real. I baked it in the morning and by 5 or 6 at night it had completely set up and sliced beautifully. It did crack, as you’ll see below, but not much, and wasn’t at all watery.

My only caveat here is that I live at high altitude and thus I upped the oven temperature and baking time. I’m pretty sure that those below 5k feet could get away with an oven temperature of 350 and the standard 50 minutes to an hour baketime!

Ingredients:

2 cups home dry-roasted pumpkin (see instructions below)

¼ c cashews

¾ c silken tofu (water-packed, NOT vacuum-packed)

2/3 c natural sugar plus more by the tablespoon if you want it sweeter after you make up the batter

1 inch fresh ginger, grated

1 ¼ tsp real Ceylon cinnamon (ooooohhhhh)

mace and nutmeg and cardamom to taste

Instructions:

Dry roast the pumpkin the night before. I roasted it at 350 for about 90 minutes, all told. Before roasting, I prepped it by cutting it into thirds, scooping out all the guts and seeds, and putting it on a baking sheet (sprayed) w/cut sides down. When it was super-soft I took it out let it cool. It was perfect and didn’t need to be strained. It also tasted completely filthy so don’t worry if you try it and it’s horrid.

After finishing the roasting bung 1/4 cup of cashews in a bowl w/enough room to cover them with three inches of water. Let sit over night.

For the batter, drain and wash the cashews, then whiz them in a food processor until they’re thoroughly whizzed. Add the tofu until it’s puree. Add pumpkin and sugar. Blend until looks like pumpkin pie batter and you can see absolutely no tofu chunks or cashew grains. This will require scraping the bowl using a rubber spatula to get everything that’s settled to the bottom to incorporate. Add spices and ginger. Taste, adjust sugar. I added about two tablespoons I think but I would add a full quarter cup next year depending on how sweet the pumpkin is.

Then all you do is pour the batter into a pre-made crust and bake at 350 or 375 for 50-60 minutes! Woo! Let cool until totally cool.

So, yay! Pumpkin pie! Stuff! Woo!

After next week’s post up at Fantasy, “Films of High Adventure” is going on hiatus for a while due to Jesse and myself needing to devote more time to other projects. But! This week we celebrate my dad’s birthday by watching one of the movies he showed me as a wee Tanz: it involves Mars, red money (Mars is red!), red dust, red blood spurting out of people, and a red-faced Austrian body builder as a secret agent who thinks he’s a construction worker who thinks he’s a secret agent. Maybe. What could it be?

Film: Total Recall (1990)

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS??? Direction again by dirt-dog par excellence Paul Verhoeven (Starship Troopers, Basic Instinct), his follow-up to last week’s RoboCop. Final screenplay by half a dozen people after dozens of attempts (including one by Pier Anthony) to adapt a Philip K. Dick short story that featured very few gunfights and mutants—of those who penned the final version, most notable is Dan O’Bannon (Alien, Return of the Living Dead). Soundtrack by Jerry Goldsmith (Pretty Much Every Cheesy Action Film From the Last Three Decades) and some decent special effects by frequent Verhoeven collaborator Rob Bottin (RoboCop, The Thing). “Acting” by Films of High Adventure All-Star Arnie Schwarz, Sharon Stone (so, so many turkeys), Rachel Ticotin (uh, Con Air), Ronny Cox (the main OCP baddie in RoboCop), Marshall Bell (the coach in A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Magistrate Claggett in Deadwood), and the dependably angry Michael Ironside (Scanners, Starship Troopers)

Quote: “You blabbed, Quaid! You blabbed about Mars!”

Alternate quote: “YOU BLEW MAH COVAH!!!”

Alternate alternate quote: “Two weeks.”

First viewing by Molly: I have no idea. Young, young, young. My dad got really excited when it came out, and so it was one of the rare grown-up sci-fi action movies I saw as a kid.

First viewing by Jesse: Elementary school—another one my dear, departed grandmother showed me.

Most recent viewing by both: A couple of weeks ago.

Impact on Molly’s childhood development: I thought it was pretty fucking cool, that’s for sure. I was never a huge Arnold fan—I found him alarming as a child, and still do, honestly—but I remember being impressed by the things that impress children inclined towards mutants, three-tittied hookers, psychically-implanted memories, and x-rays that show guns, too.

Impact on Jesse’s childhood development: Decent. I generally preferred fantasy to sci-fi but this one had mutants and ultra-violence, so it was alright by me. I remember not understanding that atmospheric pressure affected the human body and thought the reason Arnie et al inflated on the surface of Mars was that the red sand was poisonous or something. That shit freaked me right the hell out:

Random youtube clip that hasn’t been taken down for copyright infringement:

Molly’s thoughts prior to re-watching: Pretty excited. My dad’s birthday was the 16^th of November, and I wanted to do this review this week in celebration of his enthusiasm for science fiction and fantasy that was so formative for me. I didn’t recall (oh ho!) much of the film other than the asphyxiation sequence at the end and the three-tittied whore, quite frankly  [Jesse says: also, dude, three-tittied whore is not the preferred nomenclature. Tri-breasted sex worker, please].

Jesse’s thoughts prior to re-watching: Cautiously intrigued, as I am with most Verhoeven screenings these days. That he has talent is undeniable; that he uses said talent in the service of vicious, intentionally trashy indulgences of his nihilism is equally undeniable. Yet I seem to remember this one having an honest-to-goodness, no-strings attached happy ending. . . which of course made me think I must have missed something the first time around.

Molly’s thoughts post-viewing: I feel like there’s a whip-smart sci-fi action movie lurking behind the façade of Total Recall. By this I mean that the film could have spent a lot more time exploring the nature of memory and subjective reality, but chose instead to over-rely on chest-thumping and man-worship. That said, it’s still fucking awesome in the way only big-budget sci-fi action movies can be: loud and bullet-riddled, and filled with questionably-futuristic technology, hot babes, awesome dudes, evil corporations, and cool stuff.

I think I prefer RoboCop of these two films simply because it manages to be (1) gorier, (2) smarter, (3) populated with more interesting characters, (4) more violent, and (5) less misogynistic all at the same time. That’s no small feat, but it’s true. That said. . . Total Recall will always have a place in my heart, like Legend, in that even though they’re both questionably good, I saw them at a young enough age that they were utterly mesmerizing and highly educational. Also, Total Recall is obviously the forerunner of Tank Girl, which I didn’t realize until this re-watch. Really! Tank Girl substitutes post-apocalyptic earth for Mars and a suit-wearing corporate grey-haired water lord for a suit-wearing corporate grey-haired air lord. Psychic mutants become warrior-kangaroo-men, and hey! Presto! A script! Sort of [Jesse says: think I still prefer Tank Girl, though—Ronny Cox is good, but he is no Malcolm McDowell, and Arnie sure as shootin’ ain’t half the thespian Lori Petty is].

Anyways, there’s apparently a remake in the works, and it’ll be interesting to see what a 21^st century overhaul of this film might look like [Jesse says: maybe with Colin Farrell! I have no idea what his career did to make him hate it so. . .]. I really like Verhoeven’s grimy futures as seen in Total Recall and RoboCop, and if the new film is all shiny and Mac store-looking, I can’t imagine it will be as good. I like that these two films look like they could be our real future; that they could be the near-future that will one day be the far-future of Wall-E. Verhoeven is far too cynical to make near-future films where somehow the world has, I dunno, decided all of a sudden that polluting rivers, littering, strip mining, and overproducing unnecessary commodities so we can all enjoy the planet’s resources is Not Cool Anymore, since. . . well. Yeah. The evidence for that happening anytime soon is not particularly compelling. But in the true Verhoeven style, what we get is all that in the background, for the nerds to ponder. For everyone else, there’s explosions and boobies and one-liners! Thanks, Mr. Verhoeven, for giving us what we want and then sneering at us for wanting it, as you laugh all the way to the fucking bank. It’s what you do best.

Jesse’s thoughts post-viewing: Molly’s summation directly above is pretty much the most accurate description of his Hollywood output that I’ve ever read, and she also managed to connect Mr. Showgirls himself to Wall-E, no mean feat. For my money, Total Recall is decent viewing both by Schwarzie and Verhoeven movie standards, with many a well-executed effect, action scene, and bit of tawdry silliness to help grease the rails. The movie, as Molly pointed out, isn’t nearly as clever as it should have been, and compared to the superficially simpler but surprisingly nuanced RoboCop it’s fairly one-dimensional. Of course, that one dimension has mutants and nudity and mutant nudity and guns guns guns and fights fights fights, so it’s not as bad as it sounds.

The scenes where the film strains to be more than a simple action movie and almost succeeds are easily the most interesting, such as when Sharon Stone and the doctor from Rekall try to persuade Arnie to take the red pill to wake up from his artificial reality (and no, I don’t know why we didn’t cover The Matrix for this month, either, other than neither of us could bear re-watching it anytime soon). Although the scene in question quickly devolves into grunting and punching and shooting, it’s interesting to note that everything the doctor predicts comes to pass in the course of the film, which leads to the possible interpretation that Total Recall really is about a construction worker going crazy from a virtual vacation and not, as is usually thought, about a secret agent rediscovering his identity only to reject it for a nobler one.

The concept is never again overtly referenced in the film, but in the commentary Verhoeven somewhat gleefully offers that the fade to white that concludes the happy ending could be Arnie’s character finally being lobotomized following the hallucinations that have made up the bulk of the film. Given the director’s bleak track record, it’s easy to hypothesize which version of events he favors. So much for that happy ending—thanks for another bedtime story about the human race, Uncle Paul.

High Points: All the classy moments, from Arnie using an innocent bystander as a human shield to just about any scene with Sharon Stone—such as when Arnie greases her and says “considah that a divorce.” The part where Arnie takes the bug out of his nose. Definitely not Arnie’s acting. Johnny cabs, which are an infinitely cooler method of knowing where you are than Garmin or Magellan:

Final Verdict: ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!! But, you know, in a good way.

Next Time: We conclude Memory, Humanity, and Dystopia Month with Blade Runner over at Fantasy Magazine.

More happened this week than just me writing a review of RoboCop:

I linked this in my FoHA, but omg: if you like NSFW silent comics about Victorian ladies in ruffly underpants and their robotic lovers, you should probably go check out Chester 5000 XYV.

My ace dawgg Jesse got interviewed over at BookLife by Jeremy Jones!

There is a seriously, seriously awesome story by Caitlin R. Kiernan about futuristic furries over at Lightspeed that is well worth your time.

Please make sure to mark your calendars for Barbara Barnett Stewart’s story “Mortis Persona” that’s going up on Fantasy on Monday, November 15th! This story made me cry and drool and cheer all at the same time.

There’s a really cool group blog I just found out about, aimed at supporting early-career writers. Check out Inkpunks for really thoughtful advice!

I think that’s it!

Memory, Humanity, and Dystopia Month continues today with a film about a robotic police officer. I wonder what it could be?

Film: RoboCop (1987)

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS??? Paul Verhoeven (Total Recall, Basic Instinct), perhaps the nastiest, most cynical director of the modern age. Screenplay by Edward Neumeir (who later “adapted” Heinlein’s Starship Troopers for Verhoeven) and Michael Miner, both of whom would probably rather be remembered for this collaboration than their sophomore pairing, Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Suitably epic soundtrack by Basil Poledouris (Conan the Barbarian) and impressive special effects by Rob Bottin (The Thing). Acting by Peter Weller (Naked Lunch, Buckaroo Bonzai) Nancy Allen (Carrie, Dressed to Kill), Kurtwood Smith (the dad from That 70s Show causing the same sort of alarming OMG-it’s-that-guy reaction that Paul Riser evokes in Aliens), Ronny Cox (Total Recall), Robert DoQui (Coffy, Nashville), and Twin Peaks alum Ray Wise (Leland Palmer), Miguel Ferrer (Special Agent Albert Rosenfeld), and Dan O’Herlihy (Andrew Packard) as scumbags of various stripes.

Quote: “Excuse me, I have to go. Somewhere there is a crime happening.”

Alternate quote: “I’d buy that for a dollar!”

First viewing by Molly: Last week.

First viewing by Jesse: In the fourth grade, at this kid Nathan Fisher’s house.

Most recent viewing by both: Last week.

Impact on Molly’s childhood development: Very little. I remember it being on the TV at my friend Amanda’s house (Amanda had not one but two older brothers and parents who didn’t give a crap if their kids watched R- or X-rated movies) and being vaguely intrigued. I remember inquiring of one of these aforementioned older brothers, “is RoboCop human inside the suit?” and the answer being “No, he is a robot.” Being a mere child, I did not realize that robots, too, could have feelings and experience angst (thank god the internet was created to teach us such lessons—link NSFW, but worth your time if you like robots and ruffly underpants), and thus figured I would not care about RoboCop’s fate. How wrong I was.

Impact on Jesse’s childhood development: High. I remember being totally unprepared for the wanton violence, and, of course, totally impressed by it. The toxic waste scene freaked me out more than just about anything else from my childhood—I’d seen The Toxic Avenger, so I knew these things were plausible.

Random youtube clip that hasn’t been taken down for copyright infringement:

Molly’s thoughts prior to watching: Uneasy. I don’t really like Paul Verhoeven’s movies in general. I mean—the ending of Starship Troopers, where a haz-mat besuitted scientist gives an unsolicited gynecological exam to an alien still troubles me (around the 3:30 mark), and Verhoeven also directed the only movie I genuinely wish I could un-see: Flesh and Blood. Even Ladyhawke had some moments I didn’t loathe—not so with Flesh and Blood, which made me actively wish I had never been born so I would not have then grown up into a person who was watching Flesh and Blood. Christ. BUT N-E-WAYZ Paul Verhoeven also directed Total Recall, which is pretty awesome, and Jesse assured me that RoboCop was more in the TR mold than F&B. . . even though he also mentioned that it was “a movie that would probably make me hate everything.” With that sort of endorsement, what could go wrong?

Jesse’s thoughts prior to re-watching: Wary. Verhoeven’s mean-spirited, bleak view of humanity has depressed Molly before, and though the pleasure I take in Molly’s reactions to some of these turkeys may appear to be sadistic, I don’t actually like making her unhappy—at least not in the way that Paul Verhoeven makes her unhappy. For one thing, it’s hard to tell if he’s misogynistic or simply nihilistic to the point of hating everyone regardless of their gender. His tendency to cater to the lowest common denominator while simultaneously mocking said denominator for being so low and common is something that puts as many people off as it wins over, and though I enjoy a good-natured torture session along the lines of a Yor: The Hunter from the Future or a Beastmaster I’m not so keen on making her genuinely miserable with the screenings I select.

Molly’s thoughts post-viewing: Man, was I ever surprised by RoboCop! It’s really good! Who knew, besides everybody but me?

Jesse’s review pretty much encapsulates my feelings on the film, but I have to say, I was impressed for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I was amazed by the ridiculous amount of violence of the film—wowza. I mean, I’ve seen enough movies to know something bad was going to happen to the dude who trained the gun on the ED-209, but I was surprised by the sheer number of bullets pumped into that poor bastard. Same goes for the scene where the dad from That 70s Show and his assorted thugs kill Murphy—that shotgun blast to the hand was pretty agonizing to watch, as was the rest of that scene. And oh god oh god where the ginger-bearded bad guy drives a truck into a silo of toxic waste and survives long enough to melt and wheeze in a completely nauseating manner. . . I am going to stop thinking about that right now.

I was also impressed by how merciless and accurate the depiction of a privatized future America was, too. Interestingly enough, Jesse and I watched this the night of the overwhelmingly depressing mid-term elections, as America was voting tea baggers and other sundry assholes into office. Though it feels ridiculous to even type the words, I’mma say it: RoboCop hit a little too close to home for me that night. The fact that an overwrought parable like RoboCop (fucking RoboCop, man) made me so uneasy is both a testament to the state of America in 2010 as well as the overall quality screenwriting and directing of the film.

It’s obvious that the team that brought RoboCop to fruition love their dystopian novels about the dangers of capitalism and what treating people as commodities does to the world, and were intelligent enough to update the old warhorse of Brave New World into relevance. The early shout-out to Henry Ford Hospital pleased me immensely, but then later when a Lee Iacocca Elementary School is referenced. . . that’s brilliant. It’s those little flourishes—as well as updating the shiny bright nobody-has-feelings-but-at-least-they-have-bread-and-circuses of BNW into the more reasonable if ickier future of environmental pollution, lowered standards of living for disposable segments of the population, and general public despair and dilapidation as the rich get richer—that make RoboCop a much better film than Verhoeven’s Total Recall, which I felt had a smart movie lurking somewhere inside of it. Alas, with Arnold in the lead, couldn’t really rise above anything more than him shooting Sharon Stone and saying “considaaah this a divorce” or whatever the fuck happens in that moment. RoboCop, by contrast, is much smarter, much more pointed in its critiques, much better.

In the end, RoboCop is a really weird movie, and watching it for the first time at age 29 is a pretty weird experience, too. I do wonder what I would have thought of it had I seen it at a significantly younger age. I don’t think I would have been able to handle it as a child at all. . . I mean, I had nightmares for quite literally weeks after watching the tequila- and monster-fueled rape scene in Poltergeist II. In high school I probably would’ve resisted the core message of the film due to my objectivist leanings at the time (or re-framed it into a parable about how Man’s Greatness Shines Through and blamed the corruptness of the individual corporate bad guys instead of capitalism as a system). In college I. . . I dunno. Might have become enraged, as that was my default mode? Probably. But as a seasoned adult (or something) I must say: RoboCop is a damn fine movie.

Jesse’s thoughts post-viewing: Hey, very nice! And by very nice I mean incredibly dark and nihilistic and devoid of any sort of catharsis, but by Verhoeven standards this is positively charming. I pretty much agree with Molly’s take on his work in general and this film in particular, although I’m perhaps less turned off by the filmmaker’s unrelenting pessimism.

Verhoeven may be subtle as sledgehammer, but he’s also archly subversive, and certain scenes carry far more weight and gravitas than one would expect from an action movie about a robotic police officer. When RoboCop/Murphy and his partner Lewis are all kinds of fucked up following the penultimate shoot-out and lie bleeding to death in a lake of polluted sludge, Robo reassures Lewis that OCP, the corrupt corporation responsible for the events of the film, “will fix everything. They fix everything.” Murphy may have rediscovered his humanity but he’s still a literal tool of OCP, and though all the Hollywood villains are dispatched by the time the credits roll nothing has really changed—the status quo has been protected, and OCP can continue with business as usual.

For being a movie about a moralistic cyborg cop cleaning up corruption, RoboCop studiously avoids buying into the chest-thumping and flag-waving of most 80s action movies. On the contrary, part of what makes it such a fascinating film is how Verhoeven rejects these conventions of the genre and instead fashions a cautionary tale of the dangers of unfettered capitalism—the privatization of the public sector is nothing short of catastrophic in Verhoeven’s universe, and has led to tv addiction, public apathy, desensitization to violence, environmental collapse, and general misery for the majority of the population. That Verhoeven’s film satirizing America’s desensitization to violence was so bloody its initial cut was rated X plays into what we were talking about earlier regarding the director’s tendency to simultaneously give the audience what they want even as he mocks them for enjoying it. He may be a nasty man with a mean sense of humor and utter contempt for humanity, but at least he’s interesting.

High Points: All the weird Korean commercials it spawned. The effects, which hold up incredibly well and kick the shit out of most CGI nonsense. That such a nihilistic “hey, fuck you dumb Americans” movie spawned a stereotypically American kid-friendly franchise complete with toned-down sequels, action figures, video games, comic books, and cartoons. The mingling of ultra-violence with blacker-than-the-chambers-of-a-dead-nun’s-heart humor, such as this early scene:

Final Verdict: Pretty awesome.

Next Time: We continue Memory, Humanity, and Dystopia Month with Total Recall.