Paper Fruit

I feel like I’ve been gone for, like, for-ev-er, but when I looked at my post history I was shocked to see, in reality, it’s only been a little over half a month. Between my “summer vacation” at the end of last month and now I’ve had to turn inward and focus on work/entertaining a steady stream of guests, with only occasionally poking my head up to see what’s up with my friends. I know I’m missing stuff, but let’s see… John Hornor Jacobs’ Southern Gods had its official release (you should definitely check it out!), and holy shit, my friend Robert Jackson Bennett won the motherfucking Shirley Jackson Award for his novel Mr. Shivers. There’s more—ever so much more—but I utterly failed to set up my Google Reader before falling off the map so I’m probably being a neglectful stinky friend to about a million people.

Anyways, here’s the thing that compelled me to log in and update this friggin blog: I saw an awesome movie last night.

Lately I’ve been watching a lot of terrible movies (I’m going to be starting a new feature on my blog soon, which I’m considering calling “A Feast of Trash,” wherein I’ll be documenting my katabaino through the selection of mildly racy horror films available on Netflix Instant), because I like them, and because I now have access to a metric ton of schlock and awe. But, though this may come as a surprise to anyone who even vaguely knows me, I also enjoy quality cinema. Which is why, with titles such as Crucible of Horror and Hands of the Ripper yet unviewed in my queue, I spent good money to rent the Criterion Blu-Ray of The Magician (1958).

The Magician is an Ingmar Bergman film, set in 1846, and starring Max von Sydow as Albert Emanuel Vogler, a mute spiritualist/performing hypnotist who travels around with a shady crew of weirdos who comprise “Vogler’s Magnetic Health Theater”: his mysterious effeminate assistant Mr. Aman, “Granny Vogler” who seems to be an old witch who brews potions, a little gross-out of a coachman named Simson, and “Tubal,” a portly creeper-cum-carnival barker who reads palms and sells Granny Vogler’s potions to The Ladies. The film gets started when they roll up on the Consul Egerman’s house in Stockholm and are detained (some might say imprisoned) and interrogated by a Dr. Vergerus, the Minister of Health. Vergerus, having heard tales of the supernatural occurrences during Vogler’s performances, requests a private audience with the obvious hope of exposing Vogler as a charlatan. Vergerus’ interest is scientific, but he also seeks to prevent Vogler and his troupe from swindling the Consul and his wife, who are still in mourning for their dead son.

Though something of a slow burn, The Magician is never dull. Part of this is that even during the more leisurely scenes, Bergman’s cinematography is, of course, impeccable—and the masterful interweaving of the plot threads keeps one eager (but not impatient) to know what is going on elsewhere in the household. Like a magician’s act, Bergman keeps the viewer happily wondering what will be behind the next curtain, after the current illusion is completed and discarded: for example, while Vogler is unexpectedly propositioned by Consul Egerman’s wife (as the Consul watches from behind the curtains), Tubal whores himself out to the Egermans’ housekeeper, and the Egermans’ serving wench seduces Simson, the coachman. This layering is repeated as the film progresses—and darkens.

My only disappointment with The Magician came with the rather deux ex machina ending, but before that, it’s tense, wonderful, dark, and beautiful. I recommend it without reservations; I can’t remember when I’ve enjoyed a film more. But I can remember a film I enjoyed nearly as much, because I have horrible taste: It was called Circus of Horrors, I’ll be reviewing it next week, and it doesn’t deserve nearly as much praise as The Magician.

I got behind on Boot Camp blogging, but as I just finished up my final workout for the program I wanted to commemorate it, because wowza! I don’t need a scale or a tape measure to tell me how good I feel or how proud I am of myself for sticking with it. I conquered this Boot Camp, even with my week off to go hiking and play Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay with friends.

Speaking of, though, before I talk Boot Camp, during that week of hiking, I totes summited a 14er. Here’s me with the mountain:

Woo! Mt. Bross is on the far left of the photograph, and obviously that’s me in the stylish hat. The hike was beastly beyond reason, 8 hours of sweat and glory.

Anyways, over the course of this eight weeks, I completed every single workout I was assigned, and I also:

—Hiked Green Mountain (my goal for the summer–ticked off the list weeks ago, actually)

—Summited a 14er

—Swam a mile

WOO. So now that I’m at the end, I’m looking forward to new goals and new kinds of workouts! Since 5 out of my 8 weeks of Boot Camp were circuits, I’m really looking forward to lifting weights again. Though I confess I did come around to the circuit training, in the end.

But alas, I am super-busy and that is all for now, except for a few pictures from my stellar vacation, and also the cover of The Book of Cthulhu (plus bonus banner by the inimitable John Hornor Jacobs, whose book, Southern Gods, I am currently very much enjoying–I got an ARC, that’s right!)

Check it:

ME ME ME:

Fun Times:

I went on a hike for my cardio today, and it occurs to me that as hiking was one of the main motivators for my recent foray into fitness, I should probably talk about that for one of these Boot Camp posts.

Hiking, man. I live in Colorado, and so I have plenty of mountains everywhere to hike around on, up, and down. Since moving here I’ve conquered a few trails of note, some of which I’ve even bothered to take pictures of, but there are many I have yet to explore. Some of them, however, are beastly to the point that I’m intimidated to start them, so I’ve been focusing my workouts on building up my strength in my legs and increasing my cardiovascular capacity.

When I moved out here, the landscape awed and inspired me, which is why I’ve been writing (and, uh, rewriting) this novel set in the Rocky Mountains. But I had this moment of clarity a while back, as I was hammering out something about my protagonist making her way through the wilds, when I realized she was more of a badass than me when it came to hiking. I had one feeling regarding this: Total bullshit. I have no problem with her being more of a badass than me when it comes to any number of things, since obviously she is the protag of my novel and I am not competitive with my imaginary creation when it comes to any of the more ridiculous things she can do well … but hiking? Come on, I live here! It was time to remedy this imbalance. It was time … to become more of a badass.

In the fiction I enjoy consuming, writing, and editing, characters routinely do all kinds of crazy stuff. They might cover many, many miles in a day through serious terrain, solve crimes, conjure demons, invent in time travel, accomplish various feats of strength, slap a ghost, talk with beasts, wield heavy or at least challenging weapons with expertise, raise the dead, or really anything at all. Badasses are awesome, and badassery comes in many forms. And while I’ll likely never solve crimes, talk with beasts, invent time travel, or heaven forfend, raise the dead, I can get strong and flexible, hike up mountains, and even become skilled in martial arts.

Right now I’m more focused on getting strong and covering distances (though I have a guest pass to my local YMCA and I plan on checking out kickboxing and/or kendo), but still—badassery. It’s become more of a priority for me, and I’m enjoying my newfound confidence and abilities! It’s a challenging process, but totally worth it, and I recommend it for everyone who feels they have to experience being a badass on a purely vicarious level. So not true!

I just saw the preview for the Captain America movie and there was a line about how “a weak man knows the value of strength.” This is likely probable, and we lovers of genre fiction could, I suppose, extend it laterally to apply to us: “the nerd knows the awesomeness of badassery.” Hellz yes.

x-posted to my LJ

I crapped out last week on Boot Camp Blogging, so this week I’mma make up for it. In brief: things are going well! I’m officially a month in and I’m so, so glad I did this for myself. I’m also really grateful to be working with someone like Sandra who is so knowledgable, positive, and supportive. I definitely recommend Virtual Boot Camp to anyone and everyone who is even slightly curious about it. I’ve been feeling awesome, and I have a ton of energy (uh, between the hours of 6:30 AM and 10:30 PM, that is). It’s the perfect time for this, too, since it’s now gorgeous outside, the sunshine is so warm! (I am trying not to be annoyed that I’m currently on a course of antibiotics that necessitates wearing a shirt and trousers in the sun if I’m out for any amount of time. Thank goodness it’s only for three days!)

Along with my workouts, of which I’m proud to say I have not missed one yet, I’ve still been cooking healthily and trying to not eat out as much as I used to. I did, however, discover this amazing Chipotle nutrition calculator, which is helpful for the next night I don’t feel like cooking.

Right now I’m supposed to be eating 1240-1590 calories a day, according to my SparkPeople, and I’ve been doing a decent job tracking that every day. I think I would give myself a B for making sure to record all my calories, but I am going to step up my efforts for the last four weeks of Boot Camp. As for what I’m eating, I’ve shifted to multiple small meals instead of three big ones, and I think that’s really working for me. It means I have to be more careful at dinnertime to not overeat, which is hard for me, but it keeps me from feeling unbalanced and crabby and starving during the day, so there you go.

In case anyone out there is interested in what an average day of eating looks like for a vegan doing the sorts of things I’m doing, here you go:

Breakfast, Pre-weights: 1 slice whole wheat toast w/1 tbs hummus and a few cucumber slices

2nd Breakfast, Post-weights: zucchini spelt muffin (taken from Vegan Brunch but made w/applesauce instead of oil)

Lunch: Whole wheat tortilla stuffed with spinach, cucumber, low-fat Vegenaise (vegan mayo), and tofurkey slices

Dinner: Chili-cornmeal crusted tofu po’boys w/a side of jicama salad

Dessert: Strawberries

This comes in at, so says SparkPeople, 1281 calories, with 40g of fat and 52g protein. This was a lighter day, often I come in at closer to the 1500 mark. I just try to make (most of) them quality calories, meaning healthy stuff or things I just really really enjoy (Many times the 1500 is reached because I do love a cocktail or mixed drink in the evening! That said, I have made changes to this, too, mostly by replacing my sugary favorite, the G&T, with the traditional Tom Collins, which uses club soda and thus is only the caloric cost of 2 oz. of Old Tom. And lemons. Cocktails like the Corpse Reviver and the Martinez must wait for “cheat” days).

The healthy-eating thing continues to be awesome. I still love to cook with oil, because oil is of course delicious, but I’ve come to really prefer the taste of food without much on it but salt and seasonings. I use about 1 tsp on average to cook a dinner (most of which are 4-6 servings) and I’m happy with that. I’m still using Appetite for Reduction a lot, but the variety in there is so massive I’m not bored with it yet. Plus I could eat Chickpea Piccata or the Hottie Beans and Greens like, every night. I’ve also made a vow never to pay for sweetened drinks, and I think that’s helped with my efforts. I have a serious love affair with Bhakti Chai and mochas, but unless I have a free one (my local place has a program where every 10 drinks you get one on the house), I stick to coffee with a bit of soy milk. I’ve also totally given up soda, except in mixed drinks, because I can’t do artificial sweeteners and there’s nothing I need less than HFCS in my drinks.

Finally: this isn’t the sort of thing I talk about easily, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t discuss the changes I’ve seen in my body as part of this, uh, “journey” (can you tell I just watched Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition? P.S. It’s kind of amazing!). Lest I sound like I’m bragging, I’ll start out with saying that so far during Boot Camp I haven’t lost much weight, only five pounds total. Still, I just re-took my measurements, and those are saying that I’m doing something right!  In a month, I’ve taken an entire inch off my waist, my hips, and my thighs, and a solid half-inch off my upper arms, my calves, and my. . . I dunno, quads? Whatever you call the lower part of your leg toward your knee. I’m also within ten pounds of my goal weight. This means that since mid-February, when I started this whole thing, I’ve lost 21 pounds, shaved 2.5 inches off my waist, 3.5 inches off my hips, 2 inches off my thighs, and an inch and a half off my upper arms. I have started to see a bit of muscle definition in my shoulders and arms, and when the light was just right the other day at the gym, I think I maybe saw the ghost of an ab. So cool!

This drop in size means I had to go shopping for some clothes, since I’ve been looking slightly like some sort of Victorian street-urchin in my old shirts and pants, but the Memorial Day sales last weekend meant that the damage wasn’t too intense. I still don’t own long trousers that fit, though—all but one pair of my jeans have become cutoffs. Since I’m still between sizes, I can’t see the point in spending the money. I would like to note that I did successfully resist my friend Raechel’s peer pressure to buy skinny jeans before I’m at my goal weight, or maybe ever: They look bizarre on me because I am short-legged and big-butted, so I’m still debating whether I want to look silly for fashion. In that particular way.

So that’s the report. New clothes, muscles, and I dunno. . . lots of bean-eating? Anyways, I know the next month will be even more challenging, given that it is pretty much all circuit training, but I am looking forward to it and plan on giving it my all. Even if I don’t get down to my goal weight by the end of this I know I’ll be in even better health, and that’s sounding pretty rad. I have a personal block when it comes to doing things pointlessly, but given that I’ve been seeing a difference in my ability to hike quickly and easily, walk long distances without effort, and I’ve been sleeping awesomely, I can really see the results and it feels purposeful to me. That’s so encouraging.

Goodness. How positive!

x-posted to my LJ

I’ve decided, as a “motivational practice,” to blog once a week during Virtual Boot Camp. Last week, I talked mostly about my initial efforts to be more fit, as well as the sorts of things I’d been doing for myself before starting the boot camp. This week, having now completed a full week and then some of VBC, I’m going to talk about the awareness of and appreciation for certain things which working out has recently given me.

First: Food. I will always love to cook, bake, and eat. I’m good at preparing delicious meals, and I enjoy it. It’s rarely a chore for me. But, having discovered over the past week and a half what it really feels like to be “body-hungry” (needing to eat to nourish one’s body—used in contrast to being “mouth-hungry,” which is one’s desire to eat tasty things regardless of need), I can say that eating when you’re super-hungry from exercise makes food more delicious, which is awesome. To wit: I went on a hike last Sunday, up at Rocky Mountain National Park. It’s a gorgeous hike, as it takes you to three different lakes, and it’s more than decent exercise for the likes of me, as it’s 3.5 miles round trip, with a 600 ft. elevation gain. My husband and I did the whole thing in about 2 hours, including a lunch break. We ate at the terminus, and let me tell you, the sandwich I made us was the most wonderful thing I’d ever put in my mouth. Sure, this was in part because it was a freshly baked, hollowed-out rosemary loaf smeared with homemade olive relish and then stuffed with spinach and a bunch of vegan salami and bologna, but it was also because I had goddamn earned that sandwich. This is how I’ve been feeling at every meal. Even my usual wrap come lunchtime tastes divine.

Second: Sleep. I usually have quite a bit of trouble falling asleep and then staying asleep. Not since starting boot camp! I’m sure I’ll eventually adjust, but recently I simply cannot stay awake past maaaaaybe 11 PM, and when I fall asleep, I sleep well. Deep snoozin, big dreamin. I am also now all of a sudden now waking up around 6:30 AM naturally, which is let’s just say. . . atypical for me. True, my normal wake-up o’clock is a mere half-hour later, but the thing is, recently when I arise I’m all like RAWR! IT’S A NEW DAY! And I’m just not that sort of girl. That may be changing.

Third: Hot Water. I’ve always liked showering. I enjoy being clean and the process by which that is achieved. These days, though, I enjoy it ever so much more, and it’s not just because of my Lush collection. There is nothing, I have found, so wonderful as a hot, hot shower when you still have that “Whew! I did it! And am slightly sore!” feeling after working out. Especially, for me, post-weights. It’s just so delightful, feeling gym-gross sluicing away down the drain as your body relaxes. I know by working out with weights I’m gaining all sorts of health benefits and stuff, but seriously, it’s worth it purely for the aahhhhhh feeling of hot water beating on my shoulders while Lush Sea Vegetable or A Ring of Roses perfumes the whole bathroom.

And that, friends, is what I’mma go do right now. Woo!

x-posted to my LJ

First, I’d like to thank Molly Tanzer for hosting my guest-blogging effort on behalf of Historical Lovecraft: Tales of Horror Through Time, and editor Silvia Moreno-Garcia for arranging the guest-blogging exchange. And a more general thank-you to all the wonderful authors with whose works my story is sharing space in the pages of Historical Lovecraft for making it such a wonderfully frightening anthology.

When I think about discussing my short story “Red Star, Yellow Sign,” the first thing that comes to mind is how it wouldn’t even have been possible for me to write it a few years ago. In fact, it might be better to say it wouldn’t even have been thinkable to write it as I did, with Nikolai Yezhov as the protagonist and principal point-of-view character.

I originally studied Russian in the late 1980’s, when our knowledge of that period of the history of the Soviet Union was still fragmentary, and largely the product of either Soviet propaganda or the accounts of defectors. As a result, I got the standard view of the time, which portrayed Yezhov as a psychopathic monster who gleefully fabricated cases against people he knew to be innocent, motivated entirely by bloodlust reflective of a lifelong moral emptiness. After all, nothing much was known about him prior to his sudden appearance as the head of the NKVD (the Soviet secret police), so it was easy to assume the worst.

After the fall of the USSR, more information began to come out, including first-person accounts by people who knew him before the Terror, including Anna Larina, widow of Nikolai Bukharin. In spite of having suffered terribly as a result of her husband’s destruction in the Terror, and thus having every reason to hate Yezhov, in her autobiography This I Cannot Forget, Larina recalls him warmly, telling stories of how Yezhov and her late husband joked about having the same forename and patronymic, Nikolai Ivanovich, in the years prior to the Terror, when neither of them had any reason to expect they’d end up on opposite sides in a social cataclysm.

Then there was the story of Yezhov’s daughter, who after his fall from grace was sent to a hellish orphanage and subsequently has endured a lifetime of poverty and social rejection (she is as of this writing still alive, elderly, ailing, and crushingly poor). Generally the children of brutal killers recall their childhoods as being full of abuse, but she recalls Yezhov as a loving father, quite possibly the only person in her life who truly loved her. In the only English-language interview with Natalya, her steadfast love for him shines through the writer’s use of slanted language to portray her as a contemptible person (perhaps to justify his humiliation of her in her own home) and Yezhov’s ability to inspire such love in the face of overwhelming pressure to disavow him suggests that we need to take another look at the standard view of Yezhov as bloodthirsty killer devoid of any human qualities.

This was when I encountered two very significant scholarly works that changed my whole view of the Great Terror: The Road to Terror by J. Arch Getty and Oleg Naumov, and Life and Terror in Stalin’s Russia, 1934-1941 by Robert Thurston. Suddenly I get an image of the Terror not as a systematic operation of mass murder directed from the top by Stalin (as frequent comparisons to Nazi Germany’s genocides suggest), but of a moral panic affecting all levels of society, more akin to the Salem witch trials, or what the McCarthy Era might have become if the US didn’t have due process protections to slow down the wheels of (in)justice long enough that Ed Murrow could get the truth out and people could calm down. Instead of the pathological mastermind of mass murder, Stalin’s role becomes more that of throwing gasoline on a fire that would have burned no matter who was at the top (so much for all those alternate histories in which Sergei Kirov outmaneuvers Stalin and the Terror is averted). Thus it became possible to see Yezhov not as a psychopathic monster, or as Stalin’s witless tool, but a sincere Soviet patriot in over his head, not realizing that his entire society has gone mad around him because it can’t name the Elephant in the Middle of the Living Room that is the abject failure of Communist theory in the disaster of forced collectivization.

However, the final link came not from history, scholarly or popular, but from science fiction: namely a story from Larry Niven’s Man-Kzin Wars anthology series. In Jerry Pournelle and S. M. Stirling’s “The Children’s Hour,” (which is reprinted in The Houses of the Kzinti), one of the characters claims that Communism was created as a self-limiting tyranny to control humanity’s self-destructive impulses. The idea of the tragedies of Communism being the result of a shadowy Illuminati-style conspiracy foisting Communism onto unsuspecting dupes who sincerely believed they were creating a better world really bothered me.

Thus, when I saw the call for submissions to Historical Lovecraft, I immediately saw a possibility in substituting Cthulhu’s minions for Pournelle and Stirling’s shadowy Illuminati-style conspirators. My original idea was to have a modern researcher discover evidence of the tampering, and come under fire for appearing to be exculpating Yezhov — but then the editors add a line in the guidelines that they do not want to see frame stories set in the present day. So now I’ve got a story written from Yezhov’s point of view — but how can I convey the manipulations of history by Cthulhu’s minions when Yezhov’s supposed to have only the most glancing idea of what he’s discovering?

Thus I developed the idea of a series of memos back and forth between R’lyeh and Cthulhu’s agents in Leningrad, interspersed through the narrative. This technique also had the benefit of rejecting any grandiose portrayal of Cthulhu and his minions, instead portraying their evil as utterly banal and bureaucratic. It’s rather appropriate when one considers that one of the failure modes of bureaucracy is a loss of the sense of personal responsibility for actions, such that people carry out terrible orders fully believing that they’re not just doing the right thing, but fulfilling a positive duty, and that failure mode has been such a major part of several of the worst horrors of the 20th century.

After that it was just a matter of actually pulling everything together into a finished story. I got some wonderful suggestions for that from some of my friends who are also writers, and some help from my husband on the final edits right when his computer had major problems and he needed me to get it working again.

For a few months now I’ve been more fitness-concious. I haven’t talked about it here because (1) I apparently, like, never blog anymore, (2) I am typically quite self-conscious about matters body-related, and (3) generally, with stuff about diet and exercise. . . what is there to talk about that’s interesting to others? But then I got to thinking about it. I’m doing some fun things, utilizing some neat tools, and seriously: losing weight and exercising every day has honestly done every single thing fitness folks claim. My general mood has improved, my energy level and self-confidence have increased, and after an initial “unnnngh this suuuuuucks” period of adjustment, I really look forward to exercising, cooking healthy stuff, and eating reasonable portions of said “healthy stuff.” Plus it has been pretty important to me of late, and this is my friggin blog. Nobody reads it anyways! Hilarious. Anyways, here goes. . .

The Story so Far!

Diet:

I’ve been counting calories via SparkPeople and cooking out of low-fat/low-cal cookbooks such as Appetite for Reduction.

I resisted counting calories for a looooong time, for a number of reasons. When I finally decided to give it a try, I went into it with the expectation of finding it annoying, boring, or obsession-making. Thankfully, it’s actually been quite interesting, fun, and helpful! Since starting this practice, I’ve traveled twice and not been able to track as vigilantly, and I’ve actually missed tracking, because it’s a, I dunno, “centering practice” or some such yoga-sounding thing. It makes me mindful of what I put into my body, and that in and of itself is helpful. It’s so easy for me to mindlessly snack, especially at night, so holding myself accountable has been very important.

I’ve talked here and elsewhere about Appetite for Reduction, so I won’t go on too much about it. I know this sounds ridiculous and impossible, but. . . I lost 8-9 lbs before I even started this whole endeavor just cooking dinner out of this book every night—not tracking my whole day, not putting in the time exercising, just using the book. It’s great: the recipes are tasty and varied, and now that I’m tracking calories, it’s so helpful to have the calorie count, like, there so I don’t have to bother with calculating it myself. And though I’ve been a longtime “fuck you, salad” sort of vegan, there are salads in there that don’t annoy me.

Exercise:

Yoga, walking, and occasionally hiking helped me lose a ton of weight, and without much fuss at all. I’ve now (more below) added in more intense exercise and some weight training, but I did that because I wanted to, not because I plateaued or anything. I’ve steadily dropped pounds simply making sure to just be more active every single day, and yeah, it’s awesome for my mood and my general mental health.

Moving Forward!

The next eight weeks I’ll be doing Sandra Wickham‘s Virtual Boot Camp. Basically, she’s designed a personalized cardiovascular and strength-training series for me (and the other participants!) based around what I’m interested in doing for health. It includes some weight lifting and a whole lotta of cardio, since I’m still interested in losing weight. I’ll be eating the same way—high nutrient-density, low calorie—but the boot camp thing means I’ll be doing intense activity 6 out of 7 days of the week. Whew! The first day I went for a long hike, then today, I did my first strength-training: shoulders and chest, and man I already feel it. Jesus. I think tomorrow, for x-training purposes (the x makes it seem more fitness-related, doesn’t it?), I’ll be biking after an early-morning airport run (Jesse and Raech are Florida-bound!).

More later as I have more to talk about, but if this is at all interesting, I’ll be Tweeting about things more frequently than I blog, I’m sure. Yes, I’m now on Twitter due to peer pressure, and my “handle” or “moniker” or whatever it’s called on Twitter is @molly_the_tanz, and I’ll be “hashtagging” the whole thing as #vbc. Huzzah!

x-posted to my LJ

Things have been super-busy! Awards! Story sales! Readings! Interviews! Trips! OMG!

Lightspeed is up for a Hugo, in the Best Semiprozine category! A Lightspeed story, “Amaryllis” by Carrie Vaughn, is also up for a Hugo, as is John Joseph Adams himself, for Best Editor, Short Form. I’ve been super-proud to be a part of the Lightspeed team since coming on board, and to see our hard work get acknowledged in such a major way is a tremendously exciting feeling. Also: big congrats to all the nominees!

World Horror is coming up. I have a reading! It’s at 9:30 on Thursday night, in Robertson, and I’ll be reading from my latest publication, my novelette in Historical Lovecraft (which launched last week!). The novelette is called “The Infernal History of the Ivybridge Twins” and it’s completely filthy. Before me, in the same room, Jesse Bullington will be reading from his second novel, The Enterprise of Death. I’m hoping he chooses an amusing selection, because that novel has the potential to reduce me to tears in places, it’s so fucking good.

I’ll also be moderating a panel on Friday at 11 AM, called “Why We Write Short Stories” and this terrifies me. First time moderating and all. I’m very excited, though, to meet my co-panelists Joe Hill, Brad Sinor, Orrin Grey, Suzanne Church, and Claude Lalumière. Woo!

In terms of stuff I’ve done recently, my interview with Jonathan L. Howard just went up on Strange Horizons. Lots of fun, and the interview contains the blurb for his forthcoming third Johannes Cabal adventure, Johannes Cabal: The Fear Institute. I also had a few quick words with JLH over at Fantasy, as he just published a Cabal short with us, “The House of Gears.” I hear the podcast is super-good, so I’m saving it for a car trip.

I also sold a story to Megan Arkenberg’s journal of historical fiction, Lacuna. This October, “How John Wilmot Contracted Syphilis” will be going up, and I’m super-stoked. It’s about John Wilmot contracting syphilis, strangely enough! I love this story, and so I’m really happy it found such a great home.

There’s about a million shout-outs I need to give, too. As I mentioned above, The Enterprise of Death has been out for a while now, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t go buy it and read it right away. It’s seriously amazing. I liked The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart—I love this book. Over at his site, Jesse’s been doing plenty of review-roundups and providing links to the articles he’s written to go along with the novel. Some neat stuff, and worth checking out!

Also amazing: my longtime friend and ex-roommate Brad Deutsch published a totally fascinating and accessible article in Lightspeed on quantum theory, which accompanied “Mama, We are Zhenya, Your Son,” by Tom Crosshill, which is probably my favorite story we’ve had up in a while. I recommend both!

In non-newsy things, I’ve seen some cool stuff recently. And some not-so-cool stuff. Re: the latter, I’ll be blogging about the completely dreadful and unintentionally hilarious Atlas Shrugged movie at some point, probably after World Horror. For now: ha ha and stay tuned. Regarding things which are actually intelligent, well-written, and watchable for reasons other than schadenfreude, holy balls the Regency-era Blackadder is like, my new favorite thing in the universe. I was underwhelmed by the Medieval ones when I tried them back in the day, probably because of the lack of fops and also I don’t get as many of the jokes. As for the rest of the things I’ve been viewing, such as oh let’s just say motherfucking Warlock, Jesse and I are allegedly going to re-start Films of High Adventure after World Horror so I’ll save up for that.

So anyhow, I feel like there’s tons of stuff I’m forgetting to mention, but I’m crazed with trying to get my act together before I leave Thursday. I mentioned a trip, and while I have one forthcoming (Austin), I also got back from one a while ago, where I heard about things like my reading (eep!) and my panel (eeeeep!). I was in Florida for a week, and got to see my family, mine and John’s both. My dad is doing tremendously well, I’m happy to report. John’s family was a hoot as always, and I was super-happy to see his cousin Grace get married to her wonderful now-husband Garfield. John’s grandmother could use some happy thoughts sent her way, though, as she suffered a heart attack while we were staying with her, and is now in hospital recovering. I’m glad we were there when we were, and I’m hoping she continues to improve!

More later, my friends—and seriously this time, I’mma be better about updating this site. . .

(x-posted to my LJ)

I’m happy to announce that my article on the Choose Your Own Adventure series has gone up on Fantasy Magazine! It was a lot of fun to write, mostly due to the awesomeness of my friends who were willing to be quoted/interviewed, and the series authors I was privileged to speak with, Edward Packard and Ellen Kushner. Fun times! And while you’re over at Fantasy, be sure to check out Kat Howard’s fiction, “Choose Your Own Adventure,” which inspired my piece, and J.T. Glover’s Artist Spotlight on the artist who did our cover this month, Max Bertolini.

April means a few publications for me! Later in the month I’ll have an Author Spotlight on Fantasy, where I got to interview Jonathan L. Howard about his upcoming story for our magazine—and while he and I were emailing back and forth, I did another interview with him for Strange Horizons. I’ll post about those when the time comes!

But let’s chat about the real reason people are on the internet: pictures of cats.

Last summer my beloved calico kitty Penelope (AKA “the Pod”) passed away after a battle with fatty liver disease. She was incredibly special, and was with me for only 11 short years. There is no way to explain how much I loved her. She was around when I graduated high school, there for me when I’d visit during college, and I brought her with me when John and I moved in together my senior year. She came with me when I graduated and moved to Fort Pierce to do social work, and to Tallahassee when I went back to school for my Master’s. She was in the plane with me when I flew to Boulder to live here. So many major life moments together! I still miss her so much.

She and I had a ritual where every night she would jump up on the bed (after “asking permission” with her special meow), and she would snuggle up in my right armpit. Never the left! She was a weird cat. Anyways, we’d snooze like that until she decided it was time to move to my feet and sleep there for the night. It was always such a great end to the day! Any stress or unhappiness just melted away as she purred and purred. She’d also get in my armpit to sleep when I would study on the couch. Usually it would make me sleepy, too, but the Pod felt naps were more important than grad school, and how could I argue with the wisdom of cats?

Therefore, to honor all those happy hours we spent together, I got a tattoo in that exact spot:

The wings, as you can see, are calico, just like her. The strawberry motif I picked because her favorite toy was a catnip strawberry. She never let our other cat play with it. It was hers, and she loved that thing to the last—literally. When the vet came to put her to sleep, we could tell she was nervous having so much attention paid to her. She was always a little shy with strangers. I put her little strawberry in her heated bed with her. Seeing it, she was able to relax and not be so scared.

I miss my gentle kitty, and now she is still a part of me.

But enough sad stuff! Here she is as I remember her best, looking longingly at other people’s food. . .

AND THEN STEALING IT!

Crazy cat lady before 30? That’s me!

Fantasy Magazine has officially re-launched! Over on the site you can see the first issue of our new publication model, which kicks off with a Genevieve Valentine story, “The Sandal-Bride.” You can read about Genevieve’s inspiration for the piece in Jennifer Konieczny’s Author Spotlight, and learn about real-world adventurers in Graeme McMillan’s “Three Real Historical Figures who Embarked Upon the Hero’s Journey.” You can also read my interview with our cover artist, Scott Grimando!

Lots of work goes into making a magazine like Fantasy, and since we’ve added some people during the re-launch, I thought it would be fun to give folks the opportunity to meet the staff. Our “About” page will tell you the basics, but if you’d like to get to know who’s bringing you great short fiction every week, read on!

I know what I love about working for Fantasy (and, incidentally, for our sister magazine, Lightspeed): I get to read amazing, rich, creative genre fiction from an incredibly diverse group of writers on almost a daily basis. That’s pretty much what is best in life. But I wanted to ask the same question of everyone who works here, as well as a few other questions about their specific roles. . . so let’s let everybody else speak!

Sean Wallace, Publisher

What drew you to publishing fantasy fiction?

I’ve read a lot of fantasy since I was little, and it’s always been a dream of mine to publish it some day, something that I’ve always wanted to do since about middle-school. I even put together several stapled chapbooks around that time period, and then I graduated to helping out with high-school literary magazines. And then from there I went straight into genre publishing, as if it was natural.

What do you love most about Fantasy Magazine?

Knowing that other people are enjoying the same short fiction that I’ve picked, or that my editorial team has picked, is a real joy, and that’s what excites me the most about publishing Fantasy Magazine, that there’s a real broad selection of material to choose from, and that there’s something for everyone. (I hope!)

John Joseph Adams, Editor

What first made you want to be an editor?

As most editors probably do, I got interested in editing through an interest in writing. My interest in writing grew out of reading, of course, but also out of playing Dungeons & Dragons, and finding that running the game (i.e., “DMing”) didn’t quite satisfy my urge to create, largely because the damn players always ruined my elaborate plans by deciding to do things I didn’t anticipate. In any case, my interest in writing lead me to major in creative writing in college, and while there I naturally took a few fiction writing classes and fiction workshops. It was in those workshops that I discovered that I might like to be an editor—I seemed to take very naturally to working with the stories of others, and both my fellow students and my professors seemed to think that my commentary was valuable and on point, so I started to think that going into editing might be a viable career path for me.

Of course, back then I didn’t really know much about what an editor’s job would be like, and so when I got my first editorial job at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. But I loved the work right from the start, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that editing—and specifically short fiction editing—was a career I could see myself doing for the rest of my life.

What’s the first work of fantasy fiction you remember reading?

If you count anthropomorphic animals as fantasy, then my first work of fantasy would almost certainly have been one of the Ralph S. Mouse books by Beverly Cleary—probably The Mouse and the Motorcycle. And I guess that should count since, you know, mice can’t talk and generally don’t go around riding toy motorcycles. Otherwise, I remember reading A Wrinkle in Time at a very young age and being captivated by the animated film based on The Last Unicorn (which I guess is kind of cheating to mention since you asked about reading not viewing, but it feels like it should count since it was kind of a gateway to reading on account of it being based on a book).

What do you love most about fantasy fiction?

I love that in fantasy, you can take nothing for granted. Pretty much anything can happen in a fantasy story, which is something you can’t say about any other genre, really. Science fiction is capable of that kind of openness to some degree, but by definition sf stories have certain boundaries that restrict their scope, whereas fantasy can really go anywhere the author wants it to. Fantasy is like pure unfettered imagination at work.

What are you most excited about for the future of Fantasy Magazine?

Oh, just ALL OF IT. Having grown up first with fantasy, before discovering science fiction, and having worked as my first editorial job at The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, fantasy has always been near and dear to my heart, but until now I never had the chance to play with fantasy fiction the way I get to play with science fiction at Lightspeed. I’ve done anthologies that included fantasy fiction of course, most notably by The Way of the Wizard anthology just last year, but there’s a certain freedom to editing a magazine with the broad title of Fantasy that leaves the editorial doors open to a wide range of possibilities.

Esther Inglis-Arkell, Nonfiction Editor

What are you looking forward to the most about editing nonfiction for Fantasy?

One of the wonderful things about working in nonfiction is the opportunity to get paid to go to school. It’s your job to think of new things to learn, to figure out how things work, to try to find out what’s coming next, and to generally follow your own curiosity. Most websites or magazines have themes that guide non-fiction pieces to certain specific areas. Fantasy, as a subject, frees the non-fiction writer as much as the fiction writer. The ideas that come from fantasy can be based in any time period, any nation, and any subject. They can be about exploration, music, art, science, politics, or they can look inward at the fantasy genre itself. As an editor, that gives me the freedom to pick any idea that I’d like to hear more about, give it to a talented writer, and have them give me back an informative essay catered exactly to my interest. It’s a luxury.

Stefan Rudnicki, Audio Editor

What are you looking forward to most about working with Fantasy Magazine?

It’s common knowledge among publishers that short stories don’t sell, and that they’re basically not good for much. That’s an attitude I’ve been fighting for years. Short fiction is where writers grow, where they get to try out new ideas and new voices and see if they’ll fly and sing. In no genre is this more true than in fantasy (and science fiction, naturally). And, of course, exactly the same thing applies to audiobook performers. (I like to think of us as more than mere narrators.) Short stories are an opportunity to don characters, attitudes and, yes, voices, so extreme that we might not be able to sustain them for a full book.

What I love most about the opportunity to work with both Fantasy Magazine and Lightspeed is the chance to match terrific writers with wonderful readers. Often the results are right out there on the edge of narrative style; sometimes epic, sometimes breathlessly creepy, sometimes astonishing in their simplicity. And it’s a chance for me, personally, as a performer, to encounter some of my favorite writers (as well as the new talent the Fantasy and Lightspeed editors are so good at discovering) in a kind of one on one joust where nobody loses, and the big winner is the listener.

Pablo Defendini, Art Director

What are you most excited about in terms of being the Art Director for Fantasy?

I’m excited about working with artists again—illustration was my first love—and I’m excited about exploring the possibilities of designing pleasurable reading experiences on the web—be it on the desktop, mobile devices, or ebook reading systems.

Jeremiah Tolbert, Webmaster

What do you enjoy most about working for Fantasy?

I like working on Fantasy because Sean is willing to consider any and all ideas to improve. The organization is small and nimble and can react quickly when it needs to change!

Wendy N. Wagner, Assistant Editor

What brought you to Fantasy?

Before this, I’d helped Mr. Adams as an editorial assistant on a couple of anthology projects. When he asked me if I was interested in helping at Fantasy, I HAD to say yes! I knew he would be working with truly amazing literature and that I would learn an incredible amount about the genre. It’s like an MFA I don’t have to pay for!

What is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

Getting to know all the staff is terrific! We have the best crew, and we’re working very tightly with our sister magazine, Lightspeed, which is staffed by some amazing folks.

But of all my duties, I’d have to say I love reading for reprints. It’s a great excuse to sit around reading amazing short stories whenever I want!

What do you love most about interviewing?

I always get very scared about interviewing people, so right up until I get their responses, I’m totally freaked out and panicky. But when I get the answers and I’m laying everything out for the article, it feels great, as if I’ve gotten to sneak away with this writer and have a private glimpse into their thoughts. It’s very exciting and empowering.

What about the Author Spotlight feature do you find most compelling? Why would you encourage people to read them?

I love getting extra insight into the world the writer’s created. The worldbuilding we see is usually just the tip of the iceberg, and it’s so fun to be able to get a peek at what we haven’t seen. It really makes the story’s time in our publication special.

T.J. McIntyre, Editorial Assistant

What brought you to Fantasy?

I have been a fan of the magazine for a long time. My friend, Rae Bryant, who used to be on the staff, asked if I wanted to help out by putting together a few interviews as a favor, and I was more than happy to help out. I’ve been having fun interviewing authors ever since.

What is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

We publish such a diverse pool of authors who come to their writing from some very unique life experiences. I sincerely relish having the opportunity to talk shop with such talented and interesting people.

What do you love most about interviewing?

I guess the opportunity to meet other authors. I’ve made some great friends and had some really interesting conversations that I’ve truly enjoyed. Besides, who doesn’t enjoy talking about stories? That’s what makes some literature classes and book clubs so popular, after all. And getting to talk to the authors themselves? It’s simply awesome fun for this book nerd.

What about the Author Spotlight feature do you find most compelling? Why would you encourage people to read them?

I really enjoy it when an author’s personality is revealed through their answers. Some of our authors are funny, others are cerebral, and it seems that all of them are kind. I also enjoy delving into world-building and into light literary theory from a genre fan’s perspective. I’d recommend them to gain insight into the stories behind the stories. I like to delve into an author’s process, their inspiration, and perspective. As a writer myself, I find these things fascinating.

Jennifer Konieczny, Editorial Assistant

What brought you to Fantasy?

I began reading Fantasy Magazine while I was on an extended research trip in January 2009. There was a finite number of books I could afford to carry with me, and I didn’t (and still don’t) own an e-reader. But I craved new speculative fiction, so my boyfriend recommended Fantasy, Strange Horizons, and Ideomancer. Their stories hit the spot exactly: well-written, quickly read, and easily accessible. Soon I wanted to know how I could be a part of producing quality work. When Cat Rambo posted that Fantasy was looking for slush readers in September 2009, I jumped at the chance.

What is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

There’s so much to do at the magazine. I love the opportunities that arise to try something new, but if I had to narrow it down I think interviewing—getting to hear how authors’ think about their works—is my favorite aspect.

What do you love most about interviewing?

After several years in drama club stage crew, I like to pay attention to the person behind the curtain. Interviewing an author gives me the chance to hear the voice behind the scenes, distinct from the story’s narrator or other characters. It’s fun to learn about which characters were most difficult to work with and what methods an author used to bring the story to life.

What about the Author Spotlight feature do you find most compelling? Why would you encourage people to read them?

The author-reader interaction, for me, is the most compelling part of the Author Spotlight features. Authors have invested so much into the work, and readers bring their own interpretations. I love to listen to the conversation that ensues when authors and readers start comparing notes. Q&As are always my favorite part of author readings, and the Author Spotlights capture that spirit. They’re like DVD commentary tracks. Authors get to lead us through the process: what they intended, what their favorite parts are, what they incorporated from their own lives. They can answer fans’ questions about the story, they can offer advice, and they can recommend other works. It’s wonderfully informative.

Raechel Dumas, Proofreader

What do you think is your favorite aspect of working for the magazine?

Definitely getting to read such a diverse array authors, many of whom I would never have become acquainted with otherwise. I’m one of those literature grad students who’s always complaining that she doesn’t have time to read. Working for FM forces me to step away from my translation work, thesis, or whatever else I’m doing for school, and spend some time with new (to me) writers.

Our awesome slush team is, well, awesome! We’re lucky to have Lisa Andrews, Jenny Barber, Mark Bukovec, Paolo Chikiamco, Bob Cooper, Michael Curry, Jennifer Konieczny, Nick Matthews, Suzanne Myers, Wendy N. Wagner, and LaShawn Wanak all slushing for us; when I asked them about what they loved about working for Fantasy and what’s fun about slushing, here’s what they had to say:

Jenny Barber: I love finding that one shining story that absolutely has to be published, then seeing it published. I came to Fantasy as part of my eternal search for fabulous online fiction to appease my poor junkie soul.

Mark Bukovec: I enjoy watching writers get better over time. It’s satisfying when we buy a story from a writer who previously submitted a story that was close-but-not-quite. When your rejection says we’d like to see another story sometime soon, we mean it! I write, too, and reading slush serves as a reality check. You can’t take rejection personally–we get hundreds of stories a month. Submitting stories is like boxing–you gotta keep throwing punches. If you dwell on failure, you’ll get smacked in the face. Keep moving and punching!

Paolo Chikiamco: While some slush stories have already been through multiple rewrites or passed through a workshop, I always feel that there’s something more raw about an unpublished story, and whether that story is good or bad, by the time I’ve taken a position on the story I’ve already learned something new about what works for me and what doesn’t. Reading slush also makes me feel more connected with the general community of writers. It’s no secret that writing is a solitary task, especially for someone like me who doesn’t have access to a writing group, so just being able to see other authors (published and unpublished alike) engaged in the writing-submitting process makes me feel like a part of something greater than myself. I may never meet these people in person, but they’re struggling with the same things I am, and being constantly exposed to people who have the dedication to finish a story and the courage to submit that story, well, it’s an inspiration.

Michael Curry: My favorite aspect of working for Fantasy is likely the almost inexhaustible supply of great stories. There’s also the chance to contribute to the spec fic short fiction community that’s brought me so much pleasure over the years. I always enjoy the chance to read a variety of work from both some my current favorite short fiction writers and from talented new writers who may become favorites.

Nick Matthews: Slushing is a great way to read new fiction. I get a deeper understanding of the mechanics of story writing, as I get to see what makes a story idea work. I’ve focused some of my academic studies on science fiction, I get the chance to read fantasy without a theoretical lens, but rather the critical lens of story mechanics.

Suzanne Myers: I love reading stories, and this gives me an opportunity to read a LOT of amazing stories. It’s also an inspiring and educational experience. As an aspiring writer myself,  it’s an incredible opportunity to see a side of the business that new writers are rarely exposed to. I have the opportunity to learn what kind of stories sell, based on the editors’ tastes, the magazine structure, and the quality of the story itself. For many, writing is a very personal process, and I think it’s very important to understand how it’s handled from the business side. I think a term of “slushing” should be a requirement for every author!

LaShawn Wanak: For me, slushing is an crash course in learning what make a story works and what doesn’t. If it doesn’t pull me in, it won’t pull in our readers either.  It also forces me to think why the story bored more, or conversely, why I loved it. And I can apply those principles to my own writing to make it stronger. I also love finding out a story I really liked from the slushpile made it to being published on the site! It fills me with gooey happy pride.

Melissa Gross: Reading the many interpretations of “fantasy” is fascinating. Short stories lend themselves so well to experimentation, to pushing and re-drawing the boundaries of storytelling. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but that hardly matters. The process in action is a thrill. When I came across an online call for slush readers I applied before I could talk myself out of it. The chance to read others’ work and learn to evaluate writing (and hopefully strengthen my own writing in the process) was so strong I couldn’t resist.

I (me, Molly) also thought it would be interesting to query the slushers on what they’d love to see more of! Here are some of their general thoughts:

• I enjoy character-driven stories which are framed by a familiar myth, as in a myth retold. I like to see attention given to the mechanics of good writing, with a good, quick hook that develops into the story. I want to read a story which plays with nuanced characters, in which true character development occurs.

• More comic fantasy, that’s always good!

• I would love to see more stories set in non-Western locations (particularly those set in various versions of Africa), and stories that veer hard away from what some might define as standard fantasy tropes.

• Adventure stories that can manage well done action with riveting story and extra bonus deep emotional notes.

• I love wordplay. Stories with strong plots are great, but when they’re paired with poetic imagery and lyrical prose, those submissions have me tearing at my hair yelling, “How did they do that? HOW DID THEY DO THAT?!” Well, actually, no, I don’t tear my hair, but that’s the gist of it.

• Stories that show historical or mythological characters from a different angle.

• Anything with really strong worldbuilding. I’m a total sucker for exciting new vistas, especially if they contain cool creatures.

• Anything with a dynamic female protagonist!

• The best stories keep me wondering what’s going to happen next. It’s all about skilled writing!

• I love to see all the different ways writers integrate magic into a scientific-based world view, playing with mythology and mythological creatures, bringing them into modern times, and making them interact with technology.

Well, that’s about all! I sincerely hope you’ll take the time to see what’s new and what’s familiar about Fantasy—I have a feeling you’ll like it!