Paper Fruit

Refrigerator pickling! I’m super-into it these days. I’ve been eating a lot more veggies this way, as they’re already prepped and ready in my fridge. I’ve been a little busier than normal, which means I get tempted to give up nutrition for convenience. But my mom’s been on a healthy eating kick and I’ve been inspired to make sure I don’t fall into unhealthy habits just because I’m strapped for time.

Here’s what I made yesterday. From left to right, there’s do chua (pickled carrots and daikons, like you’d get on a banh mi), dubujangajji (pickled tofu and onions), and mediterranean pickled beets and turnips. It all took about two hours, including cleanup. And now I have plenty of fresh veggies for the week, plus a weeknight meal (the dubujangajji can be thrown over noodles with some of the kimchi I have fermenting in my fridge. But kimchi is its own post!).

Not that this is news to those who are always super-domestic/into heritage kinds of activities, but I have discovered that it is kind of awesome spending just a few bucks on whatever’s cheap at the grocery store and ensuring it doesn’t rot in my fridge if I get lazy some night during the week. Vinegar, salt, and sugar are all cheap, and Ball jars are a one-time purchase (the two shown cost me not four bucks). So anyways, I figured I’d share because these pickles have all turned out awesome. Frankly, I’m not all that into cucumber/dill pickles, but a pickled daikon, or green bean, or cauliflower, that’s good stuff right there. Plus yeah, if cauliflower is cheap, but I don’t feel like cauliflower that week, I can preserve it so that it’s around even after the price has gone up. Pretty tight! Who knew? Except everyone who already does this, I guess.

I need to do a kimchi post because I found THE RECIPE, but that’s fermenting, so maybe next week.

This weekend, I should mention, I’ll be at the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival, in Portland. Here’s the schedule! The only thing I’m doing, I think, is a reading on Sunday (“Reading 4″) and otherwise I’ll be trotting around to the various films (stoked about Night Breed and Beyond Re-Animator), hanging out, and going around eating myself sick. Should be a good time, and plenty of cool people are attending/participating! If you’re in the area, you should come.

Eden Foods makes that soymilk you see everywhere, the one with the pastoral landscape on it:

(Credit: Photo treatment by Salon)

They also make a ton of other natural foods products, like beans and oil and vinegar and flour and cereal and all kinds of shit. Anyways, they are suing the Obama administration because they don’t want to cover birth control for their employees.

Fuck them. Fuck that shit!

Here’s the Salon.com article where I initially found out about Eden Foods’ conservative agenda. It’s awful:

Eden Foods … says in its filing that the company believes of birth control that “these procedures almost always involve immoral and unnatural practices.” The complaint also says that “Plaintiffs believe that Plan B and ‘ella’ can cause the death of the embryo, which is a person.” (Studies show that neither Plan B nor Ella interfere with fertilization, which is the Catholic definition of the beginning of life, if not the medical one. In other words, not the death of an embryo. Also, at that stage, it’s a zygote, not an embryo — let alone a “person.”) The filing also said that “Plaintiff Eden Foods’ products, methods, and accomplishments are described by critics as: tasteful, nutritious, wholesome, principled, unrivaled, nurturing, pure.”

As if the above wasn’t awful enough, Eden Foods’ CEO is just so goddamn enthusiastic about their taking a wholesome, principled, nurturing stand against women’s health that he called Salon to respond to their article! And comes off as a fundamentalist asshole!

I floated by him the fact that contraceptive coverage is cheaper to pay for than, say, maternity coverage.

Potter replied, “One’s got a little more warmth and fuzziness to it than the other, for crying out loud.”

For crying out loud!

…he opposes “using abortion as birth control, definitely.” But the mandate doesn’t cover abortion, I reminded him, only contraception, and emergency contraception is not abortion.

“It’s a morass,” Potter said. “I’m not an expert in anything. I’m not the pope. I’m in the food business. I’m qualified to have opinions about that and not issues that are purely women’s issues. I am qualified to have an opinion about what health insurance I pay for.”

Morass indeed. Read the whole thing here.

So, yeah, fuck them! Don’t buy their shit, and even more importantly, write them a letter or go say something on their FB page or something.

Obviously lots of natural foods companies are owned by parent corporations that suck, or are shitty in some way, but when they sue to make this country even more goddamn backwards, and then come right out and enthuse about their fundamentalist, religious, conservative ideologies, well. As I said: Fuck them. 

Pho! So good. It’s perfect for hot days or cold, being under the weather or on top of the world. It’s noodle soup with flavors of cilantro, lime, chili, pepper, basil, cinnamon, omg yum.

I can’t vouch for this recipe’s authenticity; the first pho I had was vegetarian, so that’s my frame of reference! But I like this recipe, and others who’ve tried it seem to, as well. It’s compiled from a few different recipes, the main ones linked here, and here. The big difference with mine is that I’m allergic to mushrooms, so those have been excised. I bet adding some dried shiitakes to the broth while it simmers would be delicious, though!

NB: There are lots of “vegetarian” pho recipes online that call for fish sauce for seasoning. Fish sauce, being that it’s made of fish, is not strictly vegetarian. There is vegetarian fish sauce out there, you can make it at home or find it at specialty markets, but most stuff you’ll get at the store is indeed made of fish. There are vegetarians who eat fish, of course, and I’m not going to tell anyone what to call him- or herself because whatever, so all I’ll say on the matter is if you’re making this for vegans or vegetarians, best to make it completely vegetarian—meaning sans fish—or ask to find out your guests’ preferences. <3

Easy Vegetarian Pho

Serves 3-5 people (for larger groups, make more rice noodles)

Broth:

2 “beef” bouillon cubes (link to my fave brand)

6-10 smashed garlic cloves

1-3 tbs soy sauce (to taste. I like it salty!)

1 tb brown sugar or palm sugar

2 tb rice wine vinegar

1 tsp black peppercorns

2 cinnamon sticks

handful of basil stems (leaves reserved for garnishing soup)

handful of cilantro stems (leaves reserved for garnishing soup)

1 yellow onion, quartered

5-6 thick coins of ginger, smashed w/skins on

4 whole cloves

1 stalk lemongrass, trimmed and sliced down the center

4 dried red chiles japones, seeds removed

1 tbs siracha chili sauce

8 c water

My method is, I swear, dump all this in the crock pot … and let it sit for 4-6 hours at a low simmer.

Then, about an hour before serving, strain the broth of all the gross used-up veggies and spices and stuff, and dump in 2 blocks of cubed or triangled tofu and the white trimmed stalks of a head of bok choi (reserve the greens for later). The bok choi will cook beautifully and the tofu will absorb the delicious flavors of the broth, even without being pressed. Traditionally, fried tofu is served, so you could totally do that—or press and bake the tofus after marinating them in a mixture of siracha, rice wine vinegar, and soy sauce—but it’s so much easier to do it this way and I like it almost as much.

While your tofu is poaching, arrange the following prettily on a plate:

1-2 jalepeno peppers (seed if you want less spice), cut into coins

sliced green onions, whites and green parts

whole cilantro leaves

whole basil leaves

lime wedges

fresh bean sprouts

Also, just before serving cook up a package of rice noodles according to package directions, then drain and rinse in cold water.

When ready to serve, get big bowls and put the bok choi leaves in first, then the rice noodles. Then ladle out the hot broth and tofu and bok choi stems on top, making sure everyone gets lots of broth. Then allow your guests to garnish their soup the way they like best!

Starfest/DigiFest/HorrorFest/etc is this weekend! If you’re going to be there, say hi. Here’s where I’ll be:

Friday, 6PM: Asian Cult Cinema Panel

Saturday, 3:30: Writing the Dark Side

Sunday, 12 noon: Multimedia Reading w/Jesse Bullington. We two are collaborating for ours as we’ll be reading our co-authored story “Tubby McMungus, Fat From Fungus.” If you’re looking for it in the program, David Boop, Mike Hance, and Quincy Allen will also be reading.

But! Here’s what you really came here for today: Tahini Blondies!

So I wanted halva but I couldn’t be bothered to buy a candy thermometer. Thus: Tahini Blondies. Adapted from Vegan Cookies Take Over Your Cookie Jar, these are amazing tahini-ful squares of sesame bliss. Not for tahini-haters. If you’re on the fence, try ‘em—they just might change your world. Or at least your ambivalence about tahini.

Tahini Blondies

3/4 cup tahini (I used Joya)

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1 cup brown sugar

1/4 c. non-dairy milk

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1  cup all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

2 tsp sesame seeds (I used a mix of white and black)

Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly grease an 8×8  baking dish.

In a mixing bowl, use a fork to vigorously mix  together tahini, oil and sugar. Stir in milk and vanilla. Stir in  flour, salt and baking powder. The batter will be very very thick and won’t spread on its own. Transfer to baking pan and press it into place. Sprinkle on the sesame seeds and lightly press them into the top.

Bake for 22-27 minutes, the edges should be just barely brown. The top will appear soft, that’s okay. Remove  from oven and cool completely before slicing. I bolded that because they are super gooey if you don’t. Also, I had to go the whole 27 because of altitude, so check yours at 22.

I know, I know. I leave for a million years only to come back with nothing more than THE ULTIMATE RECIPE FOR TIRAMISU.

Yeah. Look at that. What’s that? An inside shot, you say? Oh, no big deal:

Tiramisu. Holy hell. I love this dessert, and always have. It was the first dessert I made my husband during our courtship. I’ve made it a million times, but for the last six years, I’ve only made it in the form of the tiramisu cupcakes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. And those cupcakes are great, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not the same.

Why have I never made real tiramisu, then? Ladyfingers, that’s why. The cookie upon which tiramisu is founded. None of the store-bought brands I’ve seen have been even close to being vegan, and I had no notion of how to veganize such a thing. So imagine my delight when, upon googling “vegan tiramisu” (I wanted to make it for my friend Raechel’s birthday), I found this recipe.

It looked amazing! And let me tell you, it was. But I tweaked and messed with the original so I’m posting my update. My version has a tangy raspberry layer and some raspberry jam in the cream that tints it the most precious My Little Pony pink. The original cream recipe also calls for cornstarch and flour, but I figured reducing the heavy cream would work as well to thicken as any thickener. It did. Oh, and as written, the original recipe makes waaaaaaaaay too much cream if you’re doing the 9×9 version (which I did). Like, more than twice as much as is needed. What you see in the above pictures, by the way, is a full 9×9, a full 4.5×4.5, and that wasn’t all of it. I also had a bowl full of the stuff.  So, yeah, it needed some tweaking for us lazy scrubs who love the ease of 9×9 cakes. There will be too many cake slices, but that’s … easily dealt with. Om nom nom.

ULTIMATE TIRAMISU

For one 9″ dish cake.

Ingredients

For the Lady Fingers:

2 cups all purpose flour

1 cup sugar

3 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon cornstarch

2 teaspoons vanilla

1/3 cup canola oil

1 cup water

spray oil

1 square 9″ pan

For the Cream:

3/4 c Tofutti sour cream

1 cup Tofutti cream cheese (1 container)

1/4 cups heavy unsweetened soy cream

1  teaspoons vanilla

1 tbs raspberry jam

1 tsp coffee liqueur

¾ to 1 c organic powdered sugar, sifted

For Assembly:

1 “shot in the dark” (12 oz coffee w/one or two shots espresso), cooled. Really, go out and get this at a local place, it’ll taste a jillion times better than making instant espresso from powder and then letting the rest go stale in your freezer.

1 tablespoon coffee liqueur

¼ to 1/3 cup good raspberry jam

cocoa powder

dark chocolate bar for shavings (I got an espresso chocolate bar)

one 9×9″ glass pan

Directions for Cream Filling:

Beat the sour cream, cream cheese, soy cream, vanilla, and liqueur to combine using a handheld or standing mixer. Sift the powdered sugar into the mixture. Do not put too much sugar in, taste it frequently (no problem!). If it’s too sugary, it’s going to overpower the espresso and the whole thing will be too sweet to eat. I added ¾ cup of sugar and then taste, add up to another 1/4 cup a little bit at a time. Beat until thickened, stick in the fridge.

Directions for Lady Fingers:

1.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Sift together the dry ingredients, including sugar, and stir just to combine.

2.  Add the oil, vanilla, and water.  Stir until most of the lumps are gone.

3.  Spread into pan, bake for 35 mins. Toothpick test for doneness, then set aside to cool.

4.  Unmold the cake, then slice into 8 equal strips. Line up on a cookie sheet, rebake at 350 for 15 minutes until just brown, flipping once.

5.  Set the cookies aside to cool.

6.  Once cooled, cut the strips in half, then cut each cookie—carefully—in half again. This will give you more strips than you need, but who cares! Use the prettiest ones for the tiramisu and make an ugly one with the leftover cream to eat by yourself whilst watching Parks & Rec reruns on Netflix.

Directions for Assembly:

1.  Pour the cooled espresso into a shallow bowl or pan, and stir in the liqueur.

2.  Line up the cookies, espresso, cream, and 9×9 pan.

3.  Carefully dip each lady finger into the espresso mixture for a few seconds. Do it fast so they don’t fall apart!

4.  Line the cookies along the bottom of a glass dish, pressed together.

5. Take ¼ to 1/3 cup good-quality raspberry jam and spread over the layer.

6. Cover the layer completely with cream.

7. Dust with cocoa powder using a fine mesh strainer

8. Cover with a layer of chocolate shavings.

9.  Repeat process with another layer of espresso-soaked cookies, and cream.

10. Cover with plastic wrap and put in the fridge for the day. Before serving, dust with another layer of cocoa powder and chocolate shavings on top.  This is best done with the chocolate bar on the hard side.

Oh, and if you need more dessert—or just a dessert more suited for a picnic/bbq—how about cookies that look like burgers?

These I made after seeing a version in Martha Stewart Living. I made 12 peanut butter cookies (I think I used the recipe in Joy of Vegan Baking, but do whatevs, just not too crispy), and pressed sesame seeds into the tops after flattening. Then I made a pan of the brownies from Joy of Vegan Baking (my favorite recipe!), but in a 9×13, not a 9×9. I baked them less but I wanted thinner “patties.” After everything was completely cool I picked a cup of appropriate size and cut out the “patties” from the brownies, and drizzled them in “ketchup and mustard” icing I made with just powdered sugar, soy milk, and vegan food color. They’re super-good!

We take Thanksgiving seriously around these parts. This year was no exception. Behold:

Clockwise from the top: John’s tofurkey (recipe was my dad’s for perpetually perfect tofurkeys), garlic mash n’ gravy courtesy Jesse, whole berry cranberry from the can, because I like it better than anything I make myself, off-brand vegan crescent roll, mac n’ cheeze, garlicy roasted brussels sprouts, and enshrined in the center, Raechel’s stuffing, from her grandma’s recipe.

Everything was even better than it looks here, which, woah.

We also had pie. I didn’t get a picture of Raechel’s pumpkin cheezecake, regrettably, but here’s my motherfucking deep dish apple pie (second picture has my salted caramel ice cream on top, because, well, you only live once:

The next day we went on a 10+ mile hike up in the high country, in one of my favorite areas we’ve hiked in, the Hall Ranch Preserve behind Lyons. It’s so beautiful, and I wish I had more pictures! But here’s me, looking sort of perplexed:

And then, at the midpoint, I ate one of my finest Frankenstein creations of all time: EPIC LEFTOVER SANDWICH!

I hollowed out the end of a ciabatta, and stuffed it with thinly sliced leftover tofurkey, fresh spinach, some leftover sprouts, gravy, mac n’ cheez, gravy, and cranberry sauce. YES! Also vegenaise and Sierra Nevada Porter mustard on the bread, in case you ever want to reproduce this magnificent creation.

All right! Tomorrow: back to reality. Oh and also, Future Lovecraft is available for pre-order! You should definitely buy it for someone this Christmas because that book is awessssssommmmme.

Thanksgiving is always awesome here in Boulder. Between Raechel and Jesse/John and myself, we loaf around, watch movies, make too much food, and it’s always amazing. The menu this year, for example, is Tofurkey, stuffing, garlic mash & gravy, brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce (from the can, what), deep dish apple pie, and I think a pumpkin cheesecake. What.

I love Thanksgiving flavors too much to confine them just to the Big Day, though, and last week I wanted to do a Thanksgiving Warm-Up for dinner without spending too much money or time in the kitchen. The answer? Thanksgiving Cheatballs. Made with Gimmie Lean, veggies, and whole wheat breadcrumbs, each cheatball has over 8g of protein and is only 108 calories. And just look how delicious:

Pictured here with the Polenta Stuffing and the Silky Chickpea Gravy from Appetite for Reduction.

Here’s the recipe! Perfect for a weeknight where you want Thankgsiving in miniature, or as a main dish on T-day when you’re burned out on too much Tofurkey!

I know I’m behind on VeganMoFo posting, but first I need to mention that an older and much-beloved story of mine, “How John Wilmot Contracted Syphilis,” is now up on Lacuna: A Journal of Historical Fiction. There’s also a brief Q&A with me on writing historical fiction, whereupon I make reference to how this piece grew out of a failed novel project. Said novel project involved time travel, S&M, famous dogs from Greek mythology, and John Wilmot, Aphra Behn, and Bathsua Makin teaming up to fight an anti-Royalist demon. It, unsurprisingly, never really came together. I wrote this story as an exercise and ended up liking it more than the book, though, so it all worked out in the end!

Lacuna is edited by Megan Arkenberg, who was one of my favorite writers even before she accepted my story for publication, so I was seriously honored when she took this piece for her ‘zine. You can check out some of her work at Fantasy Magazine: Recently, we published her “Lessons from a Clockwork Queen” and way back in February we put up one of my very favorite short stories we’ve ever published at Fantasy over the years, ever, “The Celebrated Carousel of the Margravine of Blois.” That story is pretty much the best thing ever. When I think of writers who inspire me, Megan’s at the top of the list!

But! Enough about me. Here’s today’s VeganMoFo Post: Thoughts on Delicious Sandwiches:

Sandwiches are one of my favorite things to eat. They’re so versatile, so easy to reinvent endlessly, so wonderful when paired with sides. They can be fancy or plain, traditional or unique, easy or complex. Always delicious!

The sandwich above, for example, is just the Chili-Lime Tofu from Appetite for Reduction (buy the book! But the tofus above are basically slices of tofu (not pressed), coated in a mixture of lime zest, chili powder, salt, minced garlic and baked until tender and tasty) on a baguette with low-fat vegenaise and an easy slaw I made out of bagged tri-color slaw, dressed with more vegenaise, lime juice, salt, pepper, a little chili power and thinned out with a tablespoon of soymilk. The side pictured is cubed kabocha squash tossed with more chili powder and salt, then roasted until crunchy. Spray it every once in a while with cooking spray to get that crunch! So good. It’s like southern

But other sandwiches I love include the Vietnamese French Dip from Veganomicon, po’boys made from tofus coated in cornmeal and oven-baked, and always the easy-peasy “dump bbq sauce on tofu or seitan, put on a bun with some slaw, and devour.” So good! You can make most famous sandwiches vegan, too, I’ve done awesome Philly Cheesesteaks (watch out—cats love to steal those!), Arby’s-style cheddar-sauce coated roast beef (Raech made those, actually), and I dunno, a million other things.

Woo! OK, so “Sandwiches” isn’t the most inspired MoFo post, but on Wednesday I plan (if all goes well with dinner tonight) to talk about calorie counting, cooking take-out style food for one, and what a healthy day looks like for an active semi-athletic vegan. Maybe not that much more interesting, but I’m trying here! Next week will be more inspired, likely, as I’m co-hosting a Halloween party, turning 30, and having some dear friends coming into town to celebrate several exciting things, and thus will be eating probably ten billion pounds of interesting foods!

Also, next Monday I’ll be announcing something so exciting I can’t even. Woo!

Decided to have a feast tonight. Now I am too full. Too full even to blog. Pictures!

First course: vegan calamaris with spicy garlic marinara and garlic-lemon, um, maybe it’s called aioli?:

Next, we had pesto fettucini and garlic bread. Pesto recipe is from Vegan with a Vengeance. Check out the classy-as-fuck napkins and napkin rings I busted out for the occasion (thanks, Mom!):

Later tonight we’re going to get down on champagne and some chocolate, but I’m already too drunk to be blogging. Use your imagination, suckers!

Super-proud of today’s entry for VeganMoFo: The Vegan Month of Food!

For whatever reason this year I’ve really been on a pumpkin kick, so when I woke up on Saturday and the weather was a gross-out of cold rain and chill wind, I made some pumpkin scones.

The scones were just the basic scone recipe from Vegan with a Vengeance, but with a 1:1 swap of pumpkin puree for the oil, and 2 tbs of flax seed meal added to the dough. Then I spiced it up with some cinnamon and nutmeg and other cold-weather “sweetening spices,” put some brown sugar on top, and baked them. Super good! They’re not too sweet, and completely perfect on a wet morning with a cup of tea. Also, they are a mere 115 calories apiece!

But that left me with a partial can of pumpkin, so I decided to go nuts and make some pumpkin ice cream. OH GOD. Let’s today start with the picture, mmkay?

 (pictured here with some of raechel’s spice cake)

Uh, yeah. It was delicious. Maybe my second favorite flavor after the salted caramel I made a while back! So here’s the recipe. Sadly, you do need an ice cream maker unless you’re one of those folks who will do all that stuff to make ice cream without one.

Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream

1 c soy creamer (the plain kind)

2 c soy milk (or your favorite nondairy milk, hazelnut would likely be delicious!)

1 c brown sugar

1 c pumpkin puree (I used canned, but go ‘head and make fresh!)

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. ground ginger

1/4. tsp. mace

1/4 tsp. nutmeg (fresh ground is best)

1/4 c room temperature vegan cream cheese

1 tbs. cornstarch

3 graham crackers, broken into chocolate-chip sized chunks

To make the base: Reserve 1/4 cup soymilk, whisk together with cornstarch. Set aside. Beat together the cream cheese, sugar, and spices until it forms a runny-but-goopusy texture. I just used a fork to do this. You want to make sure to do this step because sometimes the cream cheese will form lumps in your base if you just add it straight; incorporating it with the sugar provides a smoother finished product.

In a medium sauce pot on medium heat, combine the goopus and pumpkin with a whisk, and then keep whisking as you pour in your soy milk/soy creamer mixture. Keep beating the mixture until it’s rich and golden and vaguely frothy. When it starts to steam, add your cornstarch slurry (keep whisking!). Let this come to a simmer and simmer it for maybe 5 minutes, until you can’t taste cornstarch any more.

Then transfer it to a bowl and let it cool on the counter and then let it chill–completely–in the fridge. Then add it to your ice cream maker as per manufacturer’s instructions. When mostly frozen, add in the graham cracker bits so they can incorporate. Then pack it into a tupperware and let it harden in the freezer for a few hours. Voila!