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cocktails


Swords_v_Cthulhu_DRAFT_COVER_350Swords v Cthulhu is out, and you should get it… seriously. It’s been getting some nice reviews here and there, and features stories by Carrie Vaughn, Jonathan L. Howard, Wendy Wagner, Caleb Wilson, and so many more. Amazon’s a great place to get it, and so is the Stone Skin Press site!

Also, Congress Magazine #2 is live as of today, and we’ve got stories this month from Andrew S. Fuller, Jesse Bullington, and Cecilia Tan. This month also features an interview with Chuck Tingle, who is up for a Hugo this month in Kansas City, where, come to think of it, you can find me, since I’ll be there. My first WorldCon ever!

congress-august-2016But I’m not just working on edits… I’m also doing research for one of my next projects, my co-edited flash fiction and cocktail mixology manual, Mixed Up!, that I’m co-editing with Nick Mamatas. It’ll be out next year, and I’m already excited as I’m the drinks editor. I’m a bit tipsy (you’ll see why soon) and that means I get to wax prosy all about my cocktail opinions. Which, let me tell you, I have cocktail opinions.

Take the mint julep for example.

The mint julep is one of those drinks that gets a weird reputation. Not a bad one, not necessarily, but let’s say it’s a drink that’s easy to mess up. Which is a shame, because when it’s done right, it’s a drink you really want to savor. Mostly because when it’s done right it has four ounces of booze…

Anyway, I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but if you want to experience pure summer in a cup, you might want to check out this little photo essay on making a peach mint julep.

IMG_2951First, throw four or five of chunks of ripe peach into a nice big glass. Add a bunch of mint. More than you think. Also a sugar cube. Put a bit of water in there, too. Just a splash, and make it cold.

Muddle the heck out of this mixture. Go nuts. Bruise the heck out of the mint and pulverize the peaches.

 

Don’t be shy.

IMG_2952

In the end, it’ll look like this: a slurm of pulp and mint and sugar and oh, it’ll smell like you want to just do a shot of it immediately.

But wait.

Next, you’ll add in the booze. I know this will seem intense, but trust me… pour in 2 oz of cognac, and then 2 oz of rye whisky, or bourbon if that’s what you have. Rye’s better, but bourbon is just fine.

IMG_2953If you happen to be lucky enough to have some Palisades Peach cocktail bitters, use those too.

Okay, now you have a huge mixture of just delicious things. But, it’s not cold, and let’s face it, it’s gotta be cold. So crack some ice. A lot. More than you think you need, trust me. DO NOT USE CUBES. If you have to smash it in a plastic bag, go ‘head. But if you’re smart, you’ll Prime an ice crusher. Why not? You’re worth it.

IMG_2954So, pour in a lot of ice, but pause to layer in mint, and ice, and mint, and ice, until you have just a lot of booze, ice, and peach-mint slurm. Put in a sprig of mint, and then…

Yeah. That’s right. Look at that thing. Garden mint, tree-ripened peaches, ice, liquor, peach bitters… sip it over the course of an hour or so, if not more. I’m usually a fan of slamming a cocktail—they’re supposed to be cold!—but a julep like this is a sipping drink. Take it slow. Relax.

Anyway, happy drinking! And happy reading. In fact, why not combine the two? I can’t imagine anything better than a drink like this paired with an afternoon or evening with eldritch tales of derring-do or sultry sexy times.

 

2013 was a strange year. I didn’t expect to have a book come out; instead, after being contacted by Egaeus Press, I wrote a weighty novella (“Rumbullion”) and subsequently held Rumbullion and Other Liminal Libations in my hands this last October.

I thought I hadn’t published much, but looking back over this year, I had a story in the Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, a porny piece in Geek Love, a great, raunchy anthology that seemed to go largely unnoticed for various unfortunate/silly reasons, a zombie story in Zombies: Shambling Through the Ages, a mummy story in the beautiful anthology The Book of the Dead, and a tale of Chinese vampires and illegal betting in Schemers, which is (apparently) out. Also, “Herbert West in Love” was reprinted in the last ever volume of Icarus. I already have a few pieces scheduled to come out next year, so all in all, I’m pleased.

I also began and have subsequently written a substantial chunk of a new novel, something I have not done since 2010. Over the last three years I wrote and published plenty of short stories, and two novellas around 45k (“A Pretty Mouth” in A Pretty Mouth, and “Rumbullion” in Rumbullion). But the last time I set out to write anything weightier was a long time ago. I’m very happy with it so far, and hope to continue to be so…

In terms of things I read, which is also something (writerly) I finally read Joe Abercrombie’s The First Law trilogy, and the subsequent volumes. Damn. So good! I think The Heroes was my favorite, but it’s difficult to pick. The First Law books were so smartly constructed, they really blew me away. In terms of other books I enjoyed, standouts ambling through a lot of Wodehouse, Astoria by S.P. Miskowski, both books out from Lemony Snicket’s latest series All The Wrong Questions, Diary of a Young Girl (which I’d never read), Showdown in Oakland, and the comics from Avatar: The Last Airbender, which were by and large better-paced and written than most of the third season. Oh, and  a friend got me American-Born Chinese by the same author (Gene Luen Yang) for Christmas, I devoured that already. It’s hard to remember everything I read… I need to get better about keeping track of such things. But I won’t.

Overall, I’d have to say that 2013 was a good year!

Hello all,

Rumbullion and Other Liminal Libations is now available for purchase from Egaeus Press. For those of you who pre-ordered, they’re already shipping! Anyways, I’ll have very few copies for sale at World Fantasy—like, maybe one—so your best bet will be to order through the Egaeus site even if you’re planning on coming to see me read Thursday the 31st. (Which you should still totally do.) That said, if you’d like a signed copy, let me know… I will have flyers for the book that I can sign, and then you can paste into your copy or tuck between the pages later.

I’m behind on blog updates/posts, as I leave for England in a few hours. But, I very much appreciate all the wonderful attention the book has already received from friends, readers, and admirers of Egaeus Press’s beautiful editions.

Thank you again, and please, order your copies sooner rather than later if you want one! There are only 250 in the world…

7

From Egaeus Press:

Discerning readers,

 

On the 28th of this month of October 2013, Egaeus Press will publish a new volume by British Fantasy Society best newcomer nominee

M O L L Y   T A N Z E R

entitled

R U M B U L L I O N

  A N D   O T H E R   L I M I N A L   L I B A T I O N S.

It will incorporate a brand new novella,

along with a number of previously uncollected stories,

each in turn presented with a recommended imbibation from Molly’s repertoire,

verily in praise of the great god Bacchus.

The book will be a 256 page lithographically printed, sewn hardback with colour endpapers, limited to 250 copies.

It will be priced at £30 (British pounds) worldwide.

ISBN 978-0-957160644

More details will follow in the next week.

Pre-orders will be available though the website (www.egaeuspress.com) on or close to the 21st October.

William_Hogarth_-_A_Midnight_Modern_Conversation

It’s a more thematic title than you might imagine! Oooh, intriguing, right? Maybe.

Two things! First, last week I was on the Books and Booze podcast. It was a lot of fun! Renee, Dakota, and Jessica are awesome people who do this podcast thing weekly, where they interview emerging authors, musical artists, and talk about cocktails. You can listen at the link above, if you wish! We talk about all sorts of things—there are links in the show-notes—and I reveal the title of my forthcoming collection for Egaeus Press.

But, lest you have better things to do with your time than listen to me babble for over an hour about drinking, Victorian pornography, and Hong Kong cinema—you know, the usual for me—I’m announcing the title here on my blog! It’ll be called Rumbullion and Other Liminal Libations. I posted the likely ToC in an earlier post, so you can scroll back a little if you didn’t catch that, but it’ll be my best stories, plus a new Lovecraftian cosmic horror piece, plus plus a novella that’s been retitled “Rumbullion” because my publisher and I, being the kind of people we are, discovered that “rum deal” was bootlegger slang, rather than something more period appropriate. Anyways, “Rumbullion” is an archaic name for rum, and also meant a brawl or altercation even before that. So… yeah. It’s basically “Rashomon” meets “The Queen of Spades,” whatever that means.

As the collection will not only contain stories, but thematic cocktail recipes, you can see how the theme of the week is… never mind. You figured it out already, I’m sure!

 

 

I love the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival. I had an amazing time last year meeting people and watching a ton of movies. This year I had a different sort of amazing time hanging out in the immaculate weather, much of the time on Andrew Fuller’s porch, meeting a few new friends, and doing stuff around Portland. I hardly saw any films at all—just Dunderland, and I’d say 25% of Prince of Darkness, which despite having Victor Wong and Dennis Dun, was so very boring I snoozed through it. And startled awake at one point, spilling an entire cup of water over Nick Mamatas. He was very kind about it, though.

Portland is my very favorite city, and this trip I took advantage of being there. I got some great food, and many great drinks. Eh, at least I’m a giddy drunk! With … forgiving friends.

Picture time! I actually remembered to take some.

At the Moon and SixpenceFirst day: Hanging out with Nick, Camille Alexa, and Andrew, hanging out at The Moon and Sixpence (a rockin’ British pub) after the VIP reception. I got to try Deschutes’ The Abyss on tap (pictured!), a beer I wanted to try last year but never got a chance. I got the 2012; Andrew the 2011. They weren’t much different, but I think the 2012 was a little more coffee-tasting.

Voodoo Doughnuts!

 

I like, needed doughnuts the next morning, so I took the Max into town and got some Voodoos at Voodoo Too. I think this is the maple stick I’m holding up so you can see my gross bite. Also you can see their ridiculous Froot Loops doughnut, the classic Voodoo, a Oreo-covered one (BREAKFAST!), and one covered in Chik-o-Stix. Voodoo Doughnuts are so good, the fact they do both raised and cake-style fucking rocks. I didn’t make it through them all, but I brought some home, where they were promptly devoured by my family. They stayed amazingly fresh!

lift

 

The second day Wendy Wagner joined our little posse, and we saw a reading and then attended the Bizarro panel. Oh, and Nick lifted Scott Nicolay, as you can see. Later we went out for pizza at Sizzle Pie, where we met Barry Graham, he of The Big Click fame and extreme niceness. At first he thought I was Raechel, which goes to prove that people think we are the same person even over the internet.

Turnout!

We dipped through Powell’s to get to a cocktail place Camille likes for “dessert martinis,” and en route I was convinced to get over myself and sign my books. By the time I went back to buy a few things on Monday (Bruce Lee’s Chinese Gung Fu: The Philosophical Art of Self-Denfense, which is also turning out to be so good, though obviously in a different kind of way), they’d turned my book out! Very exciting stuff, I tell you what.

the first of many beers, at the VIP event (with Cameron Pierce and Ross Lockhart)

the first of many beers, at the VIP event (with Cameron Pierce and Ross Lockhart)

That second night I fully planned to see, like, something, but the theatres were the temperature of the inside of the sun and packed to the gills. Innsmouth joke! Hilarious. So I dipped out, went to the Moon, and later went to Tony Starlight’s, where I got to hang out with Orrin Grey and Amanda Downum, as well as Miss Wendy, and others.

The final morning I went to brunch, which is apparently a big Portland thing to do, then did my reading with Nick and Camille. We all read from Fungi, so I got to do my Tubby voice. I only cracked up a few times, all after the, I dunno, ionization in the audience changed when they realized it was a story about gross-ass talking cats. I also watched the panel on writing supernatural fiction. Later we went for dinner/cocktails at a vegan bar (!!) called Sweet Hereafter, where I had a boss Bahn Mi and a drink called “The Mature Sour” which I figure I’ll adopt as a nickname. Then we went to another place fore more cocktails and food for those who did not care to eat at Sweet Hereafter (which, btw—the Bahn Mi was 100% totally delicious, but the Buffalo soy curls sammich is the way to go!), and by the time we got back we’d missed everything showing and had to do more hanging out and having fun instead. OH WELL!

DC Veg Philly Cheez

Monday morning I felt a little sad, because HPLFF is the only con I get a little sad at the end of, but I made do with having another awesome day. I went to Powell’s, as I mentioned, and grabbed lunch with Cameron Pierce at DC Vegetarian, on the advice of David Agranoff. Then we got a beer and I hopped on the Max to head to the airport. It was a little traumatizing … the Max wasn’t running across the river due to some technical concerns, and while that morning the Tri-Met people had thought it would be done by afternoon, that turned out not to be the case. Thus I cut it very close indeed, getting to my flight, which anyone who knows me knows is like, my number one source of travel anxiety. But, all’s well and whatever.

I had such a good time. People I saw but briefly, and wish I’d seen more: Nick Gucker, Joe Pulver, Mike Davis, Lena and Mike Griffin, the rest of the Bizarros, Wilum Pugmire, Ross Lockhart, and I dunno, everyone else, including the people I saw the most of. At HPLFF pretty much everyone is nice, and clean, and personable, and super-stoked about Lovecraftiana. I always get writerly ideas there, too: Something about Portland, and the festival, and everyone just … recharges my batteries. But today I’m catching up on life stuff, like laundry and whatever, and hanging out in my fucking sweet new Miskatonic University hoodie. OH YEAH:

Miskatonic Miskatonic Ia Ia Ia!

Bye, Portland. See you again, as soon as I possibly can!

I had a great Christmas with the family! We did the big dinner and presents on Christmas Eve (I got a Tofu Xpress!!), then a low-key Christmas Day with just my mom and John. I made cinnamon rolls and Gardein sausage for breakfast and then we took a few walks in the nice weather, relaxed, and gobbled up leftovers for dinner which was fine by me. I’m exhausted after a week of partying with John’s family (not one, but two pallet-based bonfires in the back yard!), a trip to Busch Gardens for their Christmas Extravaganza, and everything else. Also, John got me the Blu-Ray of Re-Animator which I’m too excited about. Deleted scenes! Jeffrey Combs’ winsome faun-like face in high definition!

But! Christmas was also awesome for other reasons: A Pretty Mouth now has a brand-new Kindle edition that’s for sale on Amazon for the low, low price of $6.95. I’m really excited, as folks have been asking and asking about an ebook, and now there is one for purchase! Indeed, several friends were kind enough to let me know they bought it last night, so a big thank-you to those people. You know who you are!

AND … omg so yeah, just look at this:

150689_568947613131789_1330616282_nHOLY SHIT YOU GUYS. Just behold the awesome that is “Herbert West in Love,” (the illustration) by Miko. Apparently my Blu-Ray was some sort of trumpeting angel of amazing Re-Animator stuff. Re-Animatormas. I couldn’t be happier—indeed, as I had no idea my story would be illustrated, I am doubly happy. The skull in the lamplight! The crotch bulge! The lace-up club shirt! Oh, Herbert.

Oh, and duh, I should mention that this illustration means “Herbert West in Love” is now available for your reading pleasure over at The Lovecraft eZinePeople seem to be enjoying it so far, which is exciting! Thanks to Mike Davis for selecting it for the 20th issue. You can read it for free, which rules! And/or you could wait for the Kindle/Nook edition in a few days and support the eZine which would be awesome of you, as just look at the work they’re doing. It’s awesome. I also hear there will be a podcast edition of the eZine, including “Herbert,” which I plan on downloading and listening to on the plane when I fly back to Colorado. This marks my very first audio edition of anything I’ve published, which is … anyways, yeah, I’m a little emotional. I love this story—it’s about Herbert West kissing boys, of course it’s a favored child—so the fact it’s receiving the deluxe treatment is pretty goddamn awesome.

SO! Merry fucking Christmas to me, me me me me me. But so as not to be totally selfish, here’s something for you, dear readers: A Re-Animatormas cocktail. Top shelf shit, this. Sweet, herbal, nutty, citrusy, and boozy enough to lower your inhibitions when it comes to reaching out and inappropriately touching that special dead someone . It’s a Christmas miracle!

Revivification

2 oz Armagnac
1 oz Green Chartreuse
1 tsp Disaronno

Pour all ingredients into a mixing pitcher. Stir vigorously with lots of ice until cold, then strain into a small snifter. Float a lemon wheel on top. Inhale. Sip.

51CIyiuS0kL._SS500_So! Jesse tried all the cocktails that weren’t actually poisonous, and has decided that while he would like to send everyone a book, he must stick by the rules of the contest as stated and pick some winners. So he did. See below.

Jesse’s going to go to the post office on Wednesday, so before Wednesday morning you should email him your mailing address at Jesse(dot)Bullington[nospam]@gmail.com (remove the nospam; put in a dot for the dot, of course). Latecomers will probably be tolerated by him way more than they would if I was in charge, but I’m headed out of town so he has to do all the work.

So here’s what you’ve all been waiting for: Jesse’s “tasting notes,” plus acknowledgment of the winners! Read on….

The Enterprise of Death by Paracelsus: “This is poisonous, so I didn’t try it!”

Will Sherman’s Two Entries: “I didn’t have a dog skull, gay or otherwise (?), so I just didn’t try these. The Grossbart is pretty funny though.”

Awa’s Lament by Bryan Brunner: “This will put hair on the inside of your chest.”

The Soldier and the Witch by Selena Chambers: “My teeth! They might fall out from the sweet, but it’s soooo sweet.”

A Fool’s Gold by Andy R.: “The Herbsaint tames this Yellow Parrot admirably, and the gold dust classes it up!” RUNNER UP!

The Little Death by Matthew C.: “This is pretty good!”  RUNNER UP! 

The Hegel and the Manfried by John Gove: “Nicsh joerb, friend.” Then he fell over.

Crotch Rot by Kirsten Alene and Cameron Pierce: “GRAND PRIZE! Points awarded for filthiness of name, filthiness of color, and the fact that this one was the best tasting drink.”

The Bloody Necromancer by Gina G.: “Grape party! Pretty good.” RUNNER UP! 

The Damned Sailor by Aaron Z.: “Another good cocktail with beer! This one didn’t punk me by exploding when I shook it either; I’m looking at YOU Kirsten Alene and Cameron.” RUNNER UP!

De Bloedig Biesbosch by Raechel D.: “My wife made a cocktail!”

So there you have it. Them. Whatever! I’m literally packing while writing this so Jesse will do a more gracious send-off to this contest later this week. Check his blog for followups. I’ll miss all of you, but keep your eyes peeled—I might pop in as I think the ebook of A Pretty Mouth is imminent (save some dollars, holiday shoppers!) and the Lovecraft eZine people tell me the December issue, featuring my tale “Herbert West in Love” is out on the 21st. Huzzah! Oh god I have so much to do I have to get off the internet.

Hello all of you fine folks who submitted to my Folly of the World giveaway drinks-making contest!

We got many fine-looking submissions and one that is poisonous and thus disqualified, but despite my eagerness to get out my cocktail shaker we may be late in declaring a winner. Jesse contracted some sort of cold and has been drinking Nyquil instead of absinthe despite my recommendation to the contrary, so be patient and some of you will be rewarded!

Been a while since I did a publicity roundup for A Pretty Mouth! Things have been going great with the novel so far, and while (regrettably) I still haven’t been able to pin down when an ebook will be available for purchase I’ve heard my publisher is “working on it” for those of you waiting on a digital copy. I’ll make a big announcement when it happens as I know many people (other than myself) have expressed an interest in seeing the book in a digital format.

Anyways! Amazon has a few new reviews, bringing my book up to eight (five-star!) reviews:

A delightful romp through the macabre and depraved, made all the more appealing by the author’s obvious enthusiasm and gleeful verve. … She has a fantastic tone that is equal parts horror and wonder, and she managed to capture my particular favorite flavor of corrupt degeneracy with flair and titillation. Spot on!

and

A PRETTY MOUTH is a book of sensual prose, telling dark, sexy stories. Yes, a mix of sex and horror. Not so much violence, but the creepy edge of horror. … there’s something exciting about the discovery as well as something deliciously disturbing about it. I recommend it highly.

Also, Innsmouth Free Press was kind enough to review my collection!

Tanzer’s greatest asset is the sheer glee of her stories. She seems to be in it for the fun of it. And, because she is having fun, it is difficult not to have fun with her. … Ultimately, Tanzer takes a leap and I admire any writer who does. There is too much safe stuff on bookshelves. Tanzer’s wild collection, though, is not afraid to crash. Tanzer has a swagger of her own which shows in these stories and that, more than anything, is the drawing point for the book.

Finally, a colleague and friend of mine, John Glover, wrote me an early Christmas present in the form of a review/mythology for my person:

 The legend says that Molly Tanzer was born on a starless night in the middle of a battlefield, and that when the sun rose, the ground was carpeted with detached limbs and excavated fundaments. In the middle of this lay a babe, swaddled in black satin, attended by leather-masked beasts with hands of stone and iron. As the sun flew high, reedy pipes wailed and the emissaries of a cult that had long awaited her arrival rode thither out of the east, and strange patterns formed in the dust in the sky.

Hell yes! He goes on to talk more about the collection:

Having said it already in more flowery format, I’ll now say simply that Molly Tanzer is the real deal. A Pretty Mouth is a weighty and strange collection, and one that promises to repay more than one reading. From adroit turns of phrase to morally complex characters to simply good stories, this book has much to offer.

I remain amazed by the response to my collection of weird dirty stories. It’s thrilling to have written something people seem to like, and doubly thrilling that people are taking it in the spirit in which it was intended.

All this, along with the lovely response I’ve received from my live chat with the Lovecraft eZine people? I may faint, bring me my smelling salts!

I suppose what I might be getting at is that you could do worse than pick up my collection for the nerd/weirdo in your life for whatever holiday you celebrate this time of year… ahem.

Oh! And don’t forget, my Folly of the World giveaway contest is still going on! You have a few more days—weekend days if you catch my drift—to come up with an appropriate cocktail and try to win a copy of Jesse Bullington’s latest opus. Get thee to a liquor store! I’m working on mine, though I shan’t be formally entering the contest (I have a copy; I just like making the world a little more bubbly whenever I can), so you have no excuse. So far I’ve mixed Jesse two entries, though I shall not reveal which two. Both were good, though one was so strong Jesse described it, after a sip, as “putting hair on the inside of his chest.” A few new entries have made this an interesting race for the taste so you might should think long and hard before submitting. Or just mix a bunch of shit together on a lark and take your chances. There’s worse ways to spend an afternoon!

 

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