I’m kicking of VeganMoFo tonight at 12:00 AM EST, but as a preemptive VeganMoFo post, I’m going to make a list of things vegans don’t eat. Here we go:

Flesh

Fish (obvs, but hey, I needed the “fish aren’t animals” thing spelled out for me when I was a “vegetarian”)

Milk

Milk Products, e.g. Cheese, Butter, Whey

Eggs

Anything else that came from an animal

Why the PSA? Because today, being hard-up for lunch, I went into my local Great Harvest Bread Company thinking I would get a roll or a loaf of bread of something. I asked what was vegan (“I can never remember what that means!” chirped the girl behind the counter, to which I answered “milk, eggs, honey, cheese, butter. . . you know”) and was told the jalapeno cornbread was safe. Would I like a sample? I would. It was tasty, I bought the bread, went to work.

It did taste creamy, though, so just for my own peace of mind I checked on their website. Hmm, it contains cholesterol. Hmm, it. . . it contains milk. I went back, returned the bread, but the person to whom I talked about it didn’t really seem to care, but at least gave me my money back.

I’m not mad (I would be if I had an allergy, certainly!), but I am mildly annoyed because, really, it’s not that hard to answer questions correctly, especially when you have the list in front of you (she was checking a franchise reference at the time). I will say that I do get really irritated when people act all befuddled when I say “animal products” as if it is a really difficult concept like particle physics, especially when I say, as I always do, “no animal products, you know, like meat, eggs, milk, butter.” I am spelling it out for you.

Anyways! Tonight tune in for POST NUMBER ONE of VEGANMOFO III.